The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix

I’ve been a fan of Hendrix’s books since I first stumbled over his novel Horrorstor about his fictional version of an IKEA being a portal or at least sitting on top of a portal to some supernatural realm. Good spooky fun. Since then I’ve checked out some of this other books but thought I’d finally get around to reviewing one of them for the site. That book is obviously The Final Girl Support Group.

Hendrix has a habit of mining familiar concepts and putting a creative and entertaining twist on them. Here he explores what happens to our favorite “final girls” from various slasher movies after their traumatic experiences are behind them. See in this world those movies are based on real events and therefore real final girls. He has characters that reference the familiar franchises such as Friday the 13^th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Though he has to walk a tightrope to avoid getting into copyright troubles fans are going to know who is who. Well sort of, but I’ll talk more about that later.

We meet the final girls as they are in a support group meeting with their therapist. Here one of the girls announces she is done holding onto the past and wants to move on. This leads our main character, Lynette Tarkington, to freak out as in her mind this is the beginning of the end for them. Things get even worse when they find out that one of them, Adrienne, who they thought was late, was murdered after another slaughter happened at the camp where she became the final girl. That character is based on the Friday the 13^th franchise if you can’t tell. When someone takes a few shots at Lynette and hits one of the other girls all hell breaks loose.

The rest of the story is her trying to figure out who is trying to kill the Final Girls. She has figured out that someone has manipulated them and that someone knows their secrets. Is it one of the other girls that has gone crazy? Have their killers gotten together with superfans to do them in? Or is there some unknown person behind it all? I’m not going to spoil it there. I mean that is the whole reason to read the book.

This is a solid book. Things move along briskly, and the book is a quick read. As a slasher movie fan I was able to follow some of the shortcuts in the histories of the various final girls. Again, they aren’t the same as the franchises he is clearly referencing but they are close enough that Hendrix doesn’t need to spend too much time on their background. I suppose that some readers might find the survival of certain characters hard to swallow given how mangled and messed up they get, but these are final girls, so they are used to taking a lot of abuse.

It was also neat to see how the girls themselves don’t necessarily consider Lynette a final girl. She is based on the Linnea Quigley character that gets stuck on the deer antlers in Silent Night Deadly Night and unlike the others never did her final battle with the killer. At least until now when she has to save them all or die trying. That was a neat place to take the story and shows the sort of creativity that I’ve gotten used to from this author.

One final positive I wanted to mention the big twist in the revelation as to who the killer is. Without spoilers I will say that I thought it was clever that the motivations were so clearly in the now. The story isn’t so much updated but contrasts the horrors of the past compared to what the horrors of today are. Well and one is based on fiction, the final girls, while the other is more in the news and happens. I can’t go further without screwing things up. Read the book to find out what I’m talking about.

If I did have one complaint about the book it is that there are so many girls and storylines that sometimes things do get a bit muddled. I did find myself having to backtrack to figure out who he was referring to and how they connected. I read this in two sittings, so it was fresh in my mind. I fear that it might even be worse if you aren’t familiar with the slasher movies and tropes that this book references. After writing most of this review I did go online and see what other folks were saying and it does seem that many readers were struggling with this. Not a deal breaker for me I just thought I’d mention it.

While The Final Girls Support Group isn’t my favorite from Hendrix it did hit that sweet spot of nostalgia and entertainment. I got a kick out of seeing these alternate versions of some of my favorite horror characters without it being too ‘member berries. If you dig slasher movies then I’d recommend tracking down a copy of this one, it is a good read.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Satanic Panic (2019)

I listen to a lot of podcasts so I’m always a bit behind on the latest episodes. One of them I listen to is Mick Garris’ Post Mortem. I mention that because it was his interview with the director of Satanic Panic, Chelsea Stardust, that turned me onto this movie. Before I go any further with the review, I just wanted to take a minute to recommend the show to you. It is pretty cool.

Sam is a pizza delivery girl that is just trying to make a few bucks. Since she is new, she keeps getting the crappy deliveries and we see her getting stiffed on tips again and again. If you haven’t ever delivered pizzas (I did a long time ago!) then you wouldn’t know that tips are how you really make your money. When the chance to deliver to a ritzy part of town comes up, she takes it and runs. Given the title of the movie you can probably already figure out that this wasn’t the best decision.

The delivery is at a huge mansion but the nice tip that she was expecting doesn’t happen. Bummed out she goes to leave, but her scooter won’t start. That is the last straw, so she goes back to the house looking for the guy who stiffed her. Well it just so happens that the pizzas were ordered by some Satanists trying to summon a demon to Earth and she walks right into the middle of their meeting. If that weren’t awkward enough, they need a virgin sacrifice and guess who fits that requirement? Yeah Sam is having a really bad day. The rest of the movie is them trying to catch and sacrifice her before the sun rises while she does her best to avoid them. Along for the ride is the young lady, Judy, who was supposed to be the sacrifice but “screwed” it up. Hah see what I did there? Shenanigans ensue.

If you have read my reviews before you know that I keep hammering away that horror comedies are maybe the hardest movies to pull off correctly. You have to walk a tightrope between two very different genres and most fail by leaning too hard into one or the other. Here the director, Chelsea Stardust, does an excellent job of balancing the two. I had thought about giving some examples of what I mean but it would ruin some of the best parts of Satanic Panic. Keeping it vague I’ll just say that at times the movie is very funny and at other times very gory and creepy. I found it all very satisfying.

While researching for this review I discovered that the screenplay was written by one of my favorite authors, Grady Hendrix. I loved his books Horrorstor and My Best Friends Exorcism. So it shouldn’t be surprising that I think this might be one of the best written horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. The dialogue is snappy and the characters a lot of fun. Even the evil ones have their moments in the sun. This could have been a very linear by the number’s movie, but we get some quirky scenes tossed in for fun. It all works together nicely. The story and characters are top notch in this one.

Speaking of the characters I had a blast watching Rebecca Romijn chew up scenery as the leader of the cult, Danica. She is clearly having a blast in the role. You also get a nice supporting performance from Jordan Ladd and Hayley Griffith is great as Sam. Honestly this entire cast is great. I even thought the small role that Jerry O’Connell as Danica’s husband was a heck of a lot of fun. I mean he just wants to help “save” Sam.

He really isn't a gun person...

The special effects work is practical and involves quite a few onscreen deaths. We get a neck getting torn up, another person getting screwed to death with a giant drill, a gunshot victim, organs being cooked, and lots more fun. There are also a cool gags with a sheet attacking someone, bones getting all twisted up, and the bugs… man those bugs. Like I said earlier, Satanic Panic delivers the goods when it comes to the horror.

I could keep going but it isn’t necessary. I’d much rather you guys went out right now and purchased or rented a copy of this movie. This is the kind of independent horror that we fans should be supporting. Just because we don’t see it in the theater doesn’t mean that filmmakers aren’t out there making killer flicks like this. I can’t wait to see what Chelsea Stardust does next.

© Copyright 2019 John Shatzer