Amityville Witches (2021)

This marathon is never going to end. This time around the action kicks off in the past where three witches are being hanged. This seems like a legit thing to do since they are chanting and doing other “evil” witchy things. Then the action moves to the present day where a couple of sketchy dudes are going to burgle a house. They break in and sure enough the witches live there. They do some witchy things and I think reprogram them to be nice guys. Wait a minute…

Turns out these ladies are white witches and the good guys to this story. There is a nearby Amityville Academy that is run by an evil witch named Dominque who wants to summon the demon Botis to destroy the world. If she can collect enough witch blood to feed him then she can also control the demon. To that end she keeps inviting students to kill them and feed their blood to the demon who is in a mirror in the basement. Jessica is the latest victim, but she has the special three horned mark and that is some kind of prophecy or something. Stuff happens and the day is saved.

This isn’t a horrible movie, at least by Amityville standards which are admittedly not terribly high. The story has a beginning, middle, and end. It also makes sense and while the pacing is awful with lots of spinning in circles, training montages, and positive reaffirmations to how wonderful life is it at least is trying to tell a cohesive story. The cast is at least proficient enough to deliver the dialogue and are not terrible. Though as far as the story goes this is another Amityville flick that has nothing to do with the franchise other than having the name slapped on it. Hell, this was clearly shot entirely in England regardless of them trying to sell it as being in the United States. Though my only real issue with the movie is the glacial pacing of the story.

Pew pew pew... magic!!!

The “action” is staged is a very goofy way that I can best describe by referencing a South Park episode. Remember when Cartman thought he had psychic powers and got into “fights” with other psychics by wiggling his fingers and making “mew pew mew boop boop boop” sounds? Yeah, that pretty much sums up what we get. The demon is basically a shirtless dude with a bit of makeup on his head and chest. Again, it is okay but not anything too memorable. There are three kills with the first, a decent throat slash with blood spray, being the best. The others are sort of forgettable.

I’m at the point with these Amityville flicks that if you manage to keep the camera in focus and attempt to tell some sort of story, I’m going to give you props. Yeah, the bar is that low some twenty five entries in. Amityville Witches is not normally a movie I’d like, and I still can’t say that I do. But in the context of this franchise, it is one of the better entries. Though that isn’t a recommendation at all. Don’t watch this movie. I guess I’m onto the next one.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Naked Cannibal Campers (2020)

The movie kicks off with a lady running for her life thru the woods. She reaches a cabin with three scantily dressed ladies in it. They let her in and she tells them that a crazy person stabbed and killed her boyfriend. They offer her some tea to calm down, but it is a trap! When next we see her, she is unconscious, and the ladies are now naked and eating her guts. Well, that is how you start a movie I suppose…

Now we meet our main characters of Scott, Dale, and Rick. These three dudes are heading off on a fishing trip. They end up meeting the three ladies and soon are invited to supper. Though I don’t think they were expecting to be on the menu! The three naked witches who camp and eat people, see where the title came from, soon are faced with a mysterious man in an eye patch and the dead boyfriend who was brought back to life with some Mr. Miyagi style healing shit. The mysterious man is a warlock ready to do battle with his magic and he “Yoda” trains the now not dead anymore boyfriend in the ways of magic. Then they grab some guns and shoot them down… because I suppose the magic didn’t matter.

This is clearly not a movie that was meant to be taken seriously at all and I can appreciate that. There are some funny lines like “Witches get stitches” and when given a pill “You aren’t going to Cosby me, are you?” that do land. I honestly had a couple of laughs, but that doesn’t make up for the awful pacing. This feels like a long movie, and it is only sixty two minutes long! We get extended training montages (again never used the magic), a couple naked girls in the shower cleaning off blood scenes, needless dialogue that feels improvised, an extended driving sequence, and several naked rituals with chanting.

Okay that last one wasn’t so bad… but I think you can see where I’m going with this. They obviously didn’t have enough of a fleshed out script in place before running off to the woods to make their movie. Would it have killed them to spend a few extra weeks adding in some more plot and a few more jokes? I mean what they did have was decent enough, so I know that was possible. I’ll continue to point out when reviewing low budget movies like this that you need to spend time prepping before grabbing your camera.

Some other things to note was the occasional use of intrusive and obnoxious generic metal music that honestly doesn’t fit the scenes. Though again that was mitigated by the public domain tunes that are less annoying and fit the scenes better. Also, they make a big deal that Jill Whitlow, who most of us know from Night of the Creeps, appears. But be aware this is “stunt casting” as she is the lady running thru the woods and is in the movie for all of three or four minutes.

The kills are okay for a low or no budget movie. There is a clever to the face that was cool, and they do the old “legs in a hole” gag when poor Scott is eaten from the bottom up. Though again they sort of ruin things with the odd gunfight at the end which is done with bad CGI blood effects. It again feels like they ran out of steam or sort of half assed it with the ending.

Naked Cannibal Campers could have been a fun movie had they put just a bit more effort into the script. As it is I can’t recommend it. The movie has far too many flaws, the biggest being that for an hour long movie it is far too boring.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Blood Pageant (2021)

A voiceover about something that I don’t remember and didn’t care about drones on as the camera zooms in on planet Earth and drops right down until it focuses in on the face of a girl who screams as the camera goes black. Then we see the message appear on screen… “Six Days Earlier”. The girl we saw is named Amy and she is going to see a medium for a card reading. She is worried that she “can’t go thru with it” which we find out later the “it” is going on a reality show. She is given a pendant and told to make a spirit board. Of course, that isn’t a good thing as somehow things get out of hand and a curse in the form of a mysterious figure in a black dress starts to kill people.

We are also introduced to another girl on the show, called American Dreams. She is a devout Christian and struggles with the content of the show. But Shelley can’t just quit when she recognizes the danger that everyone else is in. So she enlists the help of god by going to a church. There she meets a priest, played by Stephen Baldwin in a glorified cameo, who gives her some holy water and an old bible. This leads to a big battle where basically everyone, but our heroines die. But at least the evil is stopped…

This is a terrible movie. The cast is passable but nothing special. Things are dominated by the appearance of the previously mentioned Baldwin as well as Snoop Dogg and Ted Lange. These are basically small cameos with Snoop mostly showing up on a cell phone. Yes, he literally “phones” it in! The story doesn’t help as it gives nothing interesting for the actors to sink their teeth into. This is a very basic story that has a “been there done that” feel. It was mind-numbingly boring. It spends far too much time on backstory for characters that don’t move the story along and honestly that as a viewer I couldn’t care less about. This movie clocks in at almost two hours and desperately needs a bit of editing. Though I’m not sure if that would help at all.

Father Baldwin...

Blood Pageant also has this weird swerve at the end where it sort of becomes an odd faith based horror flick where the power of Christianity saves the day. But that doesn’t match with the rest of the content, so I was a bit confused. I mean there is a murder at a threesome, though it is totally lame. Both the murders and the threesome. Speaking of killings there are a total of eight. The stuff on screen is lame and what could have been cool is offscreen or seen after the fact. I was terribly disappointed with what the movie had to offer. I also wondered if this was supposed to be a comedy, but since it isn’t funny, I’m guessing it either wasn’t or failed miserably.

If it isn’t obvious yet I’m not recommending Blood Pageant. It is a misfire that no one needs to waste their time watching. I’ve seen a lot of crap while digging thru the stacks of flicks to watch for the site and this has to be one of the worst I’ve seen. Make me feel better for having watched this and heed my advice.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Throwback Thursday - Lord of Illusions

note: This was an article that I wrote for Grindhouse Purgatory. I thought it might be fun to post it here as a Throwback Thursday. It covers both the movie as well as the special features and if it is worth upgrading from previous releases. 

The Blu-Ray Report: Lord of Illusions

by John Shatzer

          Well this pandemic shit is still going strong as I sit here afraid to go outside and be around human beings. Though to be fair this isn’t necessarily that unusual for me. What really hurts though is not being able to go to conventions, concerts, and the movies. These are things that I’ve always taken for granted and now miss that they are gone. But I’m sure that by the time I’m working on my contribution to the next issue this will all be behind us… I think I might have said that last time. Well enough bitching let us get to the reason we are here.

After a couple of tribute issues here at Grindhouse Purgatory I’m back to reviewing regular old Blu-Ray releases that I’ve picked up. For this issue I thought it was time that I finally tear into the Lord of Illusions disc that I picked up. Directed by Clive Barker from his own script based on one of his short stories and starring one of my favorite television actors Scott Bakula it has been years since I’ve seen it. I’m not only excited to check out the movie, but there appear to be a nice batch of special features on the new Blu-Ray as well.

            The story is part Film Noir detective tale and part horror. Things kick off with a bang as we see a group of cult members returning to their former compound to stop the cult leader, a man named Nix. He has apparently “gone to far” and kidnapped a young girl for some nefarious reasons. There is a shoot out and the leader of the returnees, Swann, uses some special tools to bind Nix stopping the danger to both the girl and themselves. Or so you would think.

            The action moves to thirteen years later where our main character, detective Harry D’Amour, is sent to Los Angeles to keep tabs on an insurance fraudster. While trailing him Harry stumbles over a crime scene where a palm reader has been tortured and is barley hanging onto life. After fighting off the crazies who were responsible, he is told by the dying man that he has a destiny and that he is drawn to the darkness. We know this to be true since we were clued in earlier that his last case had involved an exorcism. Clearly, he is not scared off by the spooky stuff.

            His presence at the crime scene brings him to the attention of Dorothea Swann, wife of the man who we saw earlier stopping Nix. She is concerned about her husband and offers to hire Harry to check on him. This leads him down a rabbit hole of magic, murder, cults, and perhaps love. Many bodies hit the ground, some sinking into it, and secrets are revealed before the end credits roll.

            As I’ve already mentioned it has been years since I’ve watched Lord of Illusions. This was a frequent watch on different premium cable channels back in the late nineties, but I’ve never seen it quite like this. For the review I decided to check out the director’s cut, which clocks in at just over two hours long. I highly recommend that this is the version that you watch if you should happen to pick up the new Blu-Ray. It adds some great background and spends more time on the investigative parts of the story. We get to see Harry working on the case and connecting the dots in a much more logical way. The theatrical version seems to jump around more without these scenes.

            Of course, that might also make the movie feel longer and I know that many fans I’ve talked to over the years find Lord of Illusions to already be a bit slow. While I don’t agree with them, I totally understand that if you sit down to watch this as a straight horror movie then you might be disappointed. That is why I keep mentioning the film noir and detective bits of the story. If you like that sort of thing then I believe that you are going to dig this movie. We even have a femme fatale as well as a villain and henchman continually roughing up our hero. This is very cool stuff if you are in the right frame of mind.

 

    The cast Barker assembled is great. We get Famke Janssen as Dorothea Swann, Vincent Schiavelli briefly as a rival magician, Kevin J. O’Connor portrays Swann, and finally Scott Bakula in the role of Harry D’Amour. This is an early role for Janssen, but you can already see the talent she would show later on. The casual fan might not recognize Schiavelli or O’Connor by name, but I promise you that you’ve seen them before. Bakula is best known for his television work but is excellent in Lord of Illusions carrying much of the movie with his performance alone. This is a great ensemble cast without a single weak link. Fun little note that Janssen and O’Connor would star together three years later in another classic nineties flick, Deep Rising.

            The special effects are a mixed bag for me. The practical effects are stellar and include a lot of kills. People get run over, stabbed, faces get melted, and a stage prop is rammed thru someone’s torso. These are just a few of the highlights. We also have people melted into the floor, a nice hand slash, a couple gags where someone reaches thru the skin to bury their fingers in another’s head. I have zero issues with this.

Unfortunately, the digital effects work doesn’t hold up well. There is a reoccurring gag where the magicians can turn themselves into what Barker calls origami, basically they are folded up into geometrical shapes on screen. This hasn’t aged well and looks horrible, especially with the movie now being presented in high definition. We also get some lighting and fire effects work that also looks bad. This is really my only complaint about the movie.

I’m not going to allow that one flaw to scare me away from recommending Lord of Illusions. I think it is an interesting story, one that no one had tried to tell on film before. Barker’s vision and inspired casting choices make this a movie that you should see at least once. This is especially so since you have read this review and have an idea what you are getting into.

This article isn’t just a review of the movie, but also a review of the new Blu-Ray as well. Here is where I normally tell you if it is worth double dipping on the new disc. This is going to be hard for me to determine because I’ve never owned a copy of Lord of Illusions before buying this release. Remember I used to watch it on cable, so I never got around to buying a VHS or DVD of it. I’ve got nothing to compare it too. But I can still let you know what else is included and you can decide if it is worth it.

The Scream Factory release is a two-disc set with both the theatrical as well as the directors cut of the movie. So you get both versions, which is sort of cool. The transfer is top notch with both beautiful picture and sound. I think that the transfer alone is likely to be worth the purchase. If that doesn’t rope you in, we also get a director’s commentary from Clive Barker that is fascinating. I honestly could sit around listening to that guy talk for hours.

Other features include a vintage making of called A Gathering of Magic that clocks in at eighteen minutes. Don’t get too excited as this is an old feature that was shot as they were making the movie. If you are “vintage” like me then you have probably remember that HBO used to show stuff like this for releases that they knew they were eventually going to get. It is less informative and more of a teaser. We also get three minutes of deleted scenes that feel like they should have been cut, so nothing special there. There is a couple of minutes of behind the scenes footage that also looks as if it was left out of the Gathering of Magic featurette.

The only new thing on the disc was an interview with the storyboard artist. This was interesting as it explains how Barker shot the movie very close to what was on the storyboards, thus saving time and money. The artist, Martin Mercer, also explains how his job helps the director bring their vision to life. It was a fun way to kill twelve minutes and I learned something new about movie making. Other than the commentary this was the highlight of the extras included on the disc.

If I’m going to be honest, I’d have to say that the special features were disappointing. I expected that as Lord of Illusions has a small following and is nowhere near as popular as Hellraiser or Nightbreed. But still I had hoped for a bit more love for the movie. I’m sure they could have gotten Scott Bakula or Kevin O’Connor in for an interview. Either or both of those would have been a killer addition.

If we take the release as a whole, I’d recommend it solely on the transfer and the director’s cut. While I don’t know if the director’s cut was available before I do know that this is a new transfer. If like me, you haven’t seen it for years, or perhaps wanted to check it out for the first time this is the way to go. Just remember to spend the extra half hour to watch the director’s cut of the movie.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’d like to thank Pete for giving me the chance to write for such a great magazine. Grindhouse Purgatory is something that I’m proud to be associated with. Thanks also to all of you out there that buy the magazine and occasionally drop me an email to tell me I’m an idiot or that you agree with me. Speaking of email that address is gutmunchers@gmail.com and I’d love to hear your thoughts on Lord of Illusions as well as anything else you want to shoot the breeze about. I’ll see you all in six months and remember to stay safe out there. Shit is getting weird.

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Beyond Terror (1980)

Time for me to dig deep into my pile of movies that I keep intending to watch. I plucked this Spanish horror flick out and popped it in. What I got was a weird Devil worshipping ghost revenge flick. Yeah… it’s complicated.

The movie starts off with a woman getting picked up by an older man for a rendezvous. She doesn’t want to be seen canoodling, so she takes him into the middle of nowhere. Well, that is a red flag for sure.  She tries to lift his wallet and gets slapped around for her trouble. That leads her to brutally stabbing him to death. Okay movie you have my attention. The woman, Lola, calls her brother to pick her up. The pair of them meet up with a couple more friends.

What do happening kids do when they have spent all the money Lola stole from the dead man on some weed? I guess rob a diner/bar. This leads to a shoot-out, lots of deaths, and a couple of hostages. They crash the getaway car and end up murdering an old woman and young boy. That was a mistake since she was a witch/devil worshipper. The remainder of the movie is them getting stranded, weird stuff happening, some brother on sister stuff I’d rather forget, and revenge!

This movie disappointed me. The start with the crime spree is violent and interesting. The kills are great with some stabbing, shooting, and face slashing. I was really digging the it, but then things go sideways. After they kill the old lady, and she calls on Satan to punish them this becomes a very slow burn horror flick. They get stranded at an old church, meet a kid, hear weird noises, hook up, and generally talk a lot. The pacing slows down to a crawl, which is more noticeable with how great the movie started off. Now I suppose that we do eventually get a decent ending, but the last third of the movie is painful to sit thru.

The death scenes are much better during the crimes than the revenge/horror part of the movie. The stabbing is well executed and the mini massacre in the bar is nicely done. Though I will give the movie credit that the last kill in the church with an exploding head is the best by far, so the witch’s finale is good. But the rest of the revenge kills are off screen and rather tame. That was a bummer as I had hoped for more.

The lighting, especially when they are in the old church and catacombs beneath, is decent and adds to the atmosphere of the movie. I also loved the soundtrack that has those unique European late seventies and early eighties vibes. My toe was a tapping to the jazzy tunes. We also get some cringeworthy uncomfortable bits with the extreme violence, killing a kid, some sexual stuff, and of course the sister “servicing” her brother. Though I must be honest that relationship is just established with a bit of dialogue, so I’m not sure if that was in the original script or if liberties were taken in the subtitles. In the end there was a lot to like here but the last forty minutes of the flick just killed it for me.

If it isn’t obvious yet I’m not going to recommend Beyond Terror. While not awful it is far too slow to be considered a good use of your viewing time. Take it from me there are much better things to watch.

 

 

Ó Copyright 2021 John Shatzer

Fear Street Part Three 1666 (2021)

Before I do anything else I’m going to warn you that this review is going to be very vague. The reason is this Fear Street series conclusion has a great twist that I don’t want to spoil. They took what was an already great time and made it better! Yeah, I loved this one too.

Thru some last-minute actions in the last movie we had one of the characters bleed on the bones again. Though instead of just a flash of the witch she jumps back and lives the last few days of her life. We get to see the events that created the legend of the witch play out in real time. Again, I’m going to avoid spoilers but will say things weren’t exactly what we the audience or the characters had been led to believe. This obviously switches around a lot of the motivations and explains some actions so that they make sense.

After we get that background sorted out everything flashes back to nineteen ninety-four and we are again with a grown-up Ziggy and the siblings Josh and Deena. The three of them enlist the janitor from the mall and head back there for a final showdown with the powers of evil. We get to see more of the killers as well as some of the settings from previous flicks getting referenced. Eventually all things are resolved, and Shadyside is finally lifted from the curse it has been under for centuries. Again, I’m keeping this vague because I want everyone to check this series out.

This review is for this movie as well as the series. I recommend going back and reading the reviews in order. You can start with the first one here. Part Three does a wonderful job collecting the stories we have seen and tying them up in a nice little bow. There isn’t a single character or plotline that isn’t explained. What is very clever about this is that I never saw the twist coming because the characters and their motivations made sense in the story we thought we were watching. That isn’t just good writing, but it is great writing. The attention to detail and character in the Fear Street movies, including this one, is what sets this aside from a lot of the other new horror movies that come out. This one doesn’t treat the audience like dummies that just want monsters and gore, but also figures we want a story with likeable characters.

Some other observations that I want to make. This movie has some kills in it, but it doesn’t have the volume or honestly the signature death that the first two do. This is less slasher movie and more witch movie. I don’t have an issue with it, but I did notice it and I don’t want anyone being disappointed. This movie also doesn’t stand alone like the first two do. I believe I mentioned in one of the other reviews that you could easily watch and understand the first two Fear Street movies without having seen the others. Part Three requires that you’ve watched the first two. I can’t imagine trying to make sense of it without knowing what happened in the prior movies. Though since they are tying up all the loose ends the story had to play out this way.

What else do I want to talk about before we are done? I dug how they brought back characters and gave resolution to even those that we mainly saw in the background. Also if you pay close attention to the dialogue there are other characters and their children mentioned. I refer you back to my comment about the writing. The filmmakers and writers too time and crafted a great story that built a world with fun characters. I honestly hope they make more Fear Street movies with this same cast or at least setting. Spoilers (okay there is one) a mid-credits scene has someone stealing something that won’t end well!

I highly recommend this series. Watch all three of them in a row. They are available on Netflix and are certainly worth six hours of your time. Be warned though that everyone I’ve talked to that started these binged them all in one sitting so set some time aside before starting.

 

© Copyright 2021 John Shatzer

Fear Street Part Two 1978 (2021)

I loved Part One and in that review I already spoiled that I enjoyed the heck out of this one as well. I recommend reading that review before you dive into this one. These movies do standalone but there is some world building that I will reference and not explain. To check out that review click here.

Part One left us with the grown-up survivor of the Camp Nightwing killings talking to the siblings Josh and Deena about what happened and how she survived. Here is when we flashback to another pair of siblings, Ziggy and Cindy, who are attending a summer camp. The campers are divided along town lines again with Shadyside being the oddballs and Sunnyvale being the perfect kids, at least on the surface. Ziggy and Cindy are from Shadyside, though the older sister, Cindy, is trying to “better” herself. When Cindy’s gentle and perfect boyfriend grabs an axe and starts to murder everyone blames the witch. She possessed yet another Shadysider causing them to go homicidal.

The rest of the movie are the killer finding and dispatching victims while Cindy, Ziggy, and another friend named Alice try to figure out the legend so they can stop the killings and save Shadyside from the witch’s curse. They find the witch’s hand but can’t find the body under the hanging tree. The legend says that if they reunite the hand with the body the curse will be over. Of course, we the audience know that the body isn’t there because of the first film, which leads to a brutal ending where the girls fail to stop the killers and instead become victims. And when I say killers one of them bleeds on the hand, has visions, and prompts the maniacs from massacres past to come after them. Though of course we know that one of them has survived. How does this help the kids from 1994 aka. the first movie? I’m not going to spoil it here.

They again do a wonderful job telling a standalone story that also serves to build the world and explain more of the legend of the witch, Sarah Fier. We find out more about the history of Shadyside and understand the rules as how our characters can banish Fier. It was also cool that the audience knows they will fail because we already know where the body is, and it isn’t where they were heading. Though even as jaded a horror fan as I am I didn’t expect the ending to be so nasty. Honestly, they gleefully linger on the agonizing death of a character that was made very likeable. I mean you had to see it coming, but damn.

I dig the look of the killer!

The pacing is solid and if you ignore the larger story this movie is still a great throwback seventies slasher flick. The kills are plentiful with nine, though four are offscreen. They also break some rules and kill kids in this movie. You don’t see it but there are limbs strewn about in one scene, so you know what happened! That said there is a nifty axe to the head, a couple axe kills with chests being beaten in, and a head goes flying. My favorite kill though is an axe to the face splitting it. The cuts are quick, but the gore is explicit, so I had a good time with them.

I see a lot of retro slashers coming out and honestly most of them fail miserably. Not only does Fear Street Part Two work to move the greater plot along but it is one of the best retro slashers that I’ve seen come out. Oh, and like the first movie they do a wonderful job with the music. Though I will admit that they use one song which is forever linked in most genre fans with a different franchise. That was a bit distracting as it shows up twice. But hey they had some Captain and Tennille so that was awesome!

I highly recommend everyone check out all three Fear Street movies. Netflix has certainly upped their game with these. I can’t wait to talk about the third installment and hope that this is a continuing project.

 

© Copyright 2021 John Shatzer

Fear Street Part One 1994 (2021)

I was never a huge R.L. Stine fan, though I can understand the appeal. I was just a bit too old for his stuff. That said I did enjoy the Goosebumps movies and even some of the television shows. When I heard that Netflix was going to release a series of movies based on Stine’s Fear Street books, I thought I’d give it a chance. I’m glad that I did.

The movie opens with a young lady working at B. Daltons in the mall. It is closing time and she is getting things buttoned up when a crazy guy in a skull mask shows up and starts trying to kill her. He has already killed a bunch of folks and we see him stab her thru the heart before the local sheriff, Nick Goode, shoots the killer in the head and brings it to an end. But of course, it isn’t over because that is the first few minutes of a movie that is two hours long!

We are then introduced to our main characters brother and sister Josh and Deena. There is also Deena’s drug dealing friends Simon and Kate as well as Deena’s ex, Samantha. This group is tossed into the chaos when the killer from the mall starts to stalk them. The dead killer from the beginning of the movie! They figure out that it has to do with them disturbing the bones of the witch Sarah Fier who cursed the town a couple hundred years earlier. There is also some stuff tossed in about the two nearby communities of Shadyside, where the characters are from, and Sunnyside which seems perfect. So, killers, two very different towns, and a witch’s curse. Got that? Oh and the killers from Shadyside’s past also return from the grave in pursuit.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. It is an excellent bit of storytelling. The filmmakers are able to tell both the plot with killers running around and high school kids dealing with the curse, all while beginning to establish the greater world in which this tale takes place. In other words, I was totally sucked into the survival horror bit of the story all while picking up on the history that may or may not be important later on. I watched all three movies again with my wife a couple of days after my first viewing and I picked up on things that I missed on the first go round. You really need to pay attention and keep your eyes glued to the screen to not miss some of the clues.

Speaking of clues this is not only a great horror flick with some decent gore, but we also get a great mystery as well. We figure out who the killer is early on, but it is his motivation and connection to the killers from throughout Shadyside’s history that had me questioning what was happening. The how and why of this movie is very important and the details are doled out slowly to hold your attention. Add to this a cast of very good young actors and actresses you end up with an engaging and fun horror flick.

This is a horror movie and I’ve already mentioned the gore. We get a solid seven kills with a couple off screen. What we do see includes a brutal stabbing to the chest, an axe to the noggin’, a stabbing thru the chin, and another knife poking thru a chest from the rear. Though the absolute best kill of all three movies… spoilers I suppose… is the bread slicer. One of the characters gets run headfirst thru the device and ends up neatly stacked. I haven’t seen that one before so that had my attention.

One other thing that I wanted to point out is how well they use the soundtrack to set the scene. If you were around in the nineties, you will recognize the music right away. Hell, when the movie opened with Nine Inch Nails playing, I got the vibe and understood where we were at before the first bit of dialogue. This is an outstanding job and is repeated in later installments.

Here is where I normally say, “Gosh I hope the next one is as good.” Though that would be cheating since I’ve watched all three already and know that they are! This is a fantastic way to spend a couple of hours. I do have to warn you that you will want to jump into the next one right away so set some time aside because this might be something you binge all six hours of in one sitting. I highly recommend Fear Street Part One 1994. 

Ó Copyright 2021 John Shatzer

Night of the Cobra Woman (1972)

I found another shot in the Philippines movie to review here for the website. This one kicks off with some nurses looking for plants to help their patients. This must happen during World War II since a Japanese soldier shows up and rapes one of them, leaving her for dead. Luckily the other, Lena, went into a nearby cave and was bitten by a snake. One that just so happened to be a God! That allows her to save her friend because you know… snake magic!

The action then jumps forward to “today” being the early seventies when this was made. There is an American student in Manilla studying antivenom and she decides that she must find the legendary Firebrand cobra. That leads her to a still young Lena and all sorts of shenanigans ensue. When Joanna, the American girl, tells her boyfriend about her search he heads out to see Lena. That is a bad idea because not only is he bitten by a cobra, but Lena then falls in love with him. This is unfortunate since she isn’t kind to her lovers, draining them of their “years” and leaving them old men. Luckily, snake venom will temporarily reverse the process. This all leads to a big showdown where I think evil wins. Yeah, it really does.

This is a low budget cheesy drive-in movie that is silly in all the best ways. The story is a bit confusing at times but serves the purpose of getting Lena her victims while providing an excuse for her to disrobe. Most importantly is the plot is tight and there is always something interesting happening on screen. You will not be bored by this movie. The acting is passable, and the cast are trying their best with what is a silly idea. Speaking of actors, I absolutely love Vic Diaz in this movie. He plays a dual role as the hunchbacked child born of the rape as well as the Japanese soldier who fathered him. Neither role has any dialogue, but he excels as Lope, the hunchback, hopping and squealing thru his scenes. Seriously this dude is a treasure of the drive-in genre. I also did a double take when I recognized actress Joy Bang in the role of Joanna. She was in one of my favorites Messiah of Evil the following year. She didn’t work a lot seeming to retire in the early seventies, so it was neat to see her show up here.

Cobra Eyes!

The makeup effects are goofy looking though all the skin peeling did creep me out. Though that might just be a personal hang up. Unfortunately, the rest of the gore is real. There are cock fights, an eagle killing a snake, and another snake getting chopped up. I’m not terribly squeamish myself having grown up hunting but it sucks seeing animals killed for the purposes of entertainment. It didn’t spoil the movie for me as this was common in the Philippines and part of the culture, but it did bug me. If you are sensitive to that sort of thing, be warned.

I like this movie. It checks a lot of those must have drive-in movie boxes. A small cast doing their best. Just a couple locations for most of the shoot. Special effects on a low budget. And an attitude of just going for it. This isn’t a perfect flick at all, but Night to the Cobra Woman does have its moments. I recommend checking it out.

 

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