Return of Dracula (1958)

I’m back with another review from one of my favorite decades for horror, the nineteen fifties. This time around I checked out a vampire movie feature everyone’s favorite, Count Dracula. So let’s dive in and see what we have. 

The movie starts off with a voiceover that tells us Count Dracula was read and that he was a vampire. He spread his evil and was never completely stopped. It is at this point that we see some men arrive at a cemetery and enter a tomb. Armed with stakes and crosses the open a coffin only to find it empty. Seems that they have missed out on their chance to finally stop Dracula. He has escaped, but to where?

Next up we meet a painter that is finally escaping Eastern Europe for freedom in the United States. He says his goodbyes to family and boards a train. Guess who is his compartment companion? Yep Dracula, who proceeds to kill him and then take his place. So now the Count has arrived in America to start a new life or is suppose un life. He tries his best to fit in with the family while moving his coffin to a nearby cave and targeting a blind girl as his first victim/acolyte. All is well until the men from earlier arrive. It seems they have tracked him to his new home. 

This is a much better movie than I anticipated. The story is interesting and combines the traditional vampire narrative with some goofy fifties monster movie goodness. Dracula creeps around being charming in spots while at other times manipulating the murder of others. He kills the blind girl Jenny only to call her back as a vampire so she can do away with one of the men pursuing him. The pacing of the movie is solid moving from one creepy scene to another without wasting any time on unnecessary padding. This makes for a quick and engaging movie that I have to say was a lot of fun to watch. 

Return of Dracula is shot beautifully in black and white taking advantage of some interesting locations like the cave to bring a lot of atmosphere to the flick. The attack on Jenny is shot in such a spooky way it shows the effort put into the lighting and camerawork. The filmmakers use some neat effects with smoke and basic in camera effects to make the vampires materialize out of nowhere. There is also a neat gag when they finally stake Jenny where the black and white film suddenly has a splash of red with the blood. I even dug the familiar but well executed post death of Dracula where we see him age and turn into a skeleton before our eyes. Again, nothing new but well done. 

This is another movie from the fifties that I somehow had missed. I’ve owned this DVD for many years but somehow Return of Dracula has fallen thru the cracks. Now that I’ve watched it I feel silly having waited until now to check it out. I highly recommend that you avoid my mistake and track yourself down a copy. You won’t be disappointed. 

 © Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

The Living Idol (1957)

The movie opens with some men climbing up a set of narrow stairs in an Incan pyramid. When they reach the top they discover a statue of a jaguar, which freaks Juanita out. She is a lovely young lady that was with the men. One of the men, Terry, races after her. Turns out that and she are sweet on each other. When Juanita’s father dies in an accident at the dig the other man, Doctor Stoner, adopts here. Following so far?

Months later Juanita is living with Stoner in Mexico City where he is working on his theories regarding superstition. This is important because he thinks that Juanita is cursed or something like that. She has never been right since being scared by the jaguar statue. When Terry returns from Korea, he is a photographer, he picks back up with her. But soon it becomes obvious that things aren’t right. There is a big fight between the jaguar god, in the form of an animal that Stoner releases from the zoo and Terry. Some people die and the rest live happily ever after. 

I really wanted to like this one. Sadly, the story spends far too much time on the romance between Juanita and Terry. There are several dance numbers, some romance, and much drama. That shouldn’t be a big surprise since this was co-produced by a large Hollywood studio, Allied Artists and that was par for the course. Sure, there is an occasional “what the Hell” moment to let you know there is something supernatural afoot, but these are spread out too much for the movie to create any momentum. Forty minutes in and we have yet to see much of anything in the way of old school horror. That brings me to the other big issue. At forty minutes in we still have another hour to go! This movie is far too long for what it is, and they could have taken a cue from the independent horror productions of the fifties and trimmed it down. 

The cast is decent with the most familiar face being Steve Forrest, who I recognized from his television work in the seventies. The Living Idol was co-directed by Rene Cardona, who I know from several Santo movies. I also have to say that the fact this was shot in color, a novelty reserved for bigger budgeted movies in the fifties, as well as it being shot on location was nice. The movie is beautiful and takes advantage of the exotic locations available to the filmmakers. We also get some nifty carnival sequences that are highlights of the first half. I just wished they had a tighter grip and focus on the story they were trying to tell. 

I noticed that many folks compare this to Cat People. While the subject is similar and they both share a sequence where the lead actress is traumatized by a trip to the zoo, that is a far superior movie. There is some mystery and tension to that movie that we just don’t get with The Living Idol. Again, I wanted to like this one but simply can’t recommend it. 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Isn’t it Shocking? (1973)

I’ve been having some amazing luck finding old made for television flicks to cover here at the site. This one stars Alan Alda of Mash fame as a local lawman named Dan. He wakes up at his girlfriends one morning to find out that one of the locals has died of a heart attack in the middle of the night. But he is bothered by the fact that she wasn’t wearing a nightgown. When her husband follows soon after he is suspicious, especially since he is missing his PJ’s as well. 

More bodies follow with the only connection being that they all graduated from high school in the same year. Dan struggles to figure out not only the why, but also the how of the murders. With the help of the local doctor and her father the coroner he does eventually sort it all out. But will that happen before the killer is done? And will Dan take the big promotion and move to a bigger town? 

Isn’t it Shocking? is interesting in that the story, while fairly direct, does keep you guessing as to the motive until the end. Honestly even then I wasn’t totally sure why the killer did what he did. Maybe he was just angry, but it is also possible that in his old age he was losing his mind and made a proverbial mountain out of a molehill. Since it isn’t a surprise who the killer is I might as well give you a bit more detail on what I’m talking about. The murder is Oates, who I think was kicked out of school after a prank went wrong. 

Again, we know who the murderer is all along so the story hangs it’s hat on watching Dan try and solve the mystery. This means that the drama and entertainment has to come from the actors. If we don’t have the cast selling us the story and keeping your eyes glued to the screen, then this won’t work. Here is where the movie excels. Alan Alda is surprisingly good as the lawman trying to figure things out. He makes you feel Dan’s pain as friends and neighbors die on his watch. He is supported by the likes of Louise Lasser (Crimewave, Blood Rage), Will Greer (The Waltons), Ruth Gordon (Rosemary’s Baby, My Bodyguard), and Edmond O’Brien (The Wild Bunch). So, there is a lot of talent in front of the camera. Their performances are the reason to stick around and see how things work out. 

I was also surprised when I realized that Isn’t It Shocking? was directed by John Badham. Not only did he do a bunch of killer television shows but also brought movies like Blue Thunder, War Games, Stakeout, and Bird on a Wire to the screen. Hell, he also directed Saturday Night Fever, which isn’t a favorite of mine but is undeniably part of seventies pop culture. These old network television flicks used to be able to collect a lot of talent which is why so many of them are worth checking out. Which is why I’m going to recommend everyone do here. You can find it on YouTube as well as other spots online. Give it a chance I think you will dig it.

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

The Stick (1988)

In my never ending search for movies that I may have missed I stumble across some odd ones. The Stick is a weird sort of mashup between Platoon and your traditional ghost story/revenge tale. Complete with the pointlessness and horrors of war as well as your supernatural comeuppance for bad acts. 

The movie opens with a small detachment of men being ambushed while on patrol. I believe that they are across the border in some sort of police action with the neighboring country. This is a South African made movie and I think they had sort of an unofficial conflict with rebels that kept sneaking across the border for safety. Not entirely sure and wasn’t wanting to get a history lesson for this movie. I apologize in advance if I get any of the details wrong. After seeing them all killed by some mysterious men with guns, we get to see a meeting where the officers are yelling at the troops. This leads to another series of patrols with platoons split up into sticks, groups of seven to eight men. It is one of these sticks that we follow. 

The rest of the movie are these men crossing the border, arguing with each other, gunning down a village, and getting killed themselves by what appears to be the ghost of the witchdoctor and those mysterious warriors. Along the way we see one of them, O’Grady, lose control and murder a child that they had let go. There is also a spooky ritual as it seems the witchdoctor has blessed some soldiers that may or may not be the enemy. 

While The Stick does have a lot of supernatural elements including people coming back from the dead, ghostly visions, and attacks from nowhere this movie plays more like a futility of war story than it does horror. Though I suppose that is itself a sort of horror. The first half to two thirds is them on patrol walking across the wilderness in search of the enemy. This establishes the characters and sort of lets you know who each of them is. There is the violent one, the stoner, the gung ho soldier, the reluctant guide, the ineffective officer, and the man who is sort of our eyes. A participant but also the commentor. His voice is used in a voiceover that attempts to connect the parts of the story into a cohesive narrative. It sort of works, though at times gets a bit intrusive. 

The pacing is also quite bad with lots of pausing to take in what is admittedly some beautiful scenery as well as lots of talking. When we do get to the spooky stuff it does pick up a bit, but even then it is them walking back towards base in an attempt to escape it. This leads to a lot of taking, arguing, and not enough revenge and ghost stuff. Hell, some of the deaths seem random including stepping on a landmine! Still there are moments that worked so I don’t want to dismiss The Stick completely. I was just disappointed in what I got. Based on what I read before and after watching this was sold as a horror movie and is not that at all. 

I’ve already mentioned that they do a good job capturing the setting on camera. This is at times a pretty movie and considering I noticed that on the beat up VHS copy I watched for this review that is saying something. Also being as low budget as they were you get a lot of handheld camera work which puts you right on the ground for the chaotic combat scenes. That can be annoying but here helps to tell the story decently enough. I felt like I was right there in the middle of things with the characters and that helped keep my attention, offsetting the difficulty of keeping track of the action. 

I don’t want to get into much more detail as I might spoil things. My concerns are that you manage expectations before sitting down to watch this movie. If you are wanting something scary that will creep you out then this isn’t the right choice. I also wonder if the story translates as well to someone who doesn’t have a good grasp on the setting. While not a great movie I think that to the right audience in the correct state of mind it has a story worth listening too. I’m just not sure I was either of those. I can’t recommend it. 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

The Food of the Gods (1976)

I need to review more Bert I. Gordon flicks for the site and this is one of my favorites. I remember more than one Friday night spent staying up late to watch this on my local horror hosted movie show. It was a staple.

The opening credits roll around a football field were a team is practicing for the upcoming big game. Our main character, Morgan, tells us in a voiceover that they are given a couple of days off and decide to go hunting on a nearby wooded island. One of them is killed, we know by giant wasps, but the characters don’t. This leads to Morgan running into a lady at a nearby farm when looking for help. After taking their friend back to the mainland Morgan and the other hunter return to the island knowing that they need to take care of the problem themselves.

Here is where things start to get good. In addition to the men returning, we are also introduced to a businessman and a scientist that have come to cash in on the discovery made by the farmer. See there is something bubbling out of the ground that when mixed with feed will cause animals to grow to enormous size. We also meet up with a pregnant woman and her boyfriend who are stranded in their RV. Now that the characters are back on the island they must deal with rats, giant rats that are feeling a bit peckish. That means that the characters are now on the menu! Stuff happens, which I’ll not spoil here, before it all ends… or does it?

Director/Writer Bert I. Gordon knows how to make a movie like this. He spends little time introducing characters but instead sets up the MacGuffin that is causing all the giant critters and then gets to them right away! There is no mystery here as right away we know giant wasps are buzzing about, even if the characters don’t. But then Morgan runs into giant chickens right away and sees a regular sized wasp munching away on some chicken feed. Hell, Mrs. Skinner even points out the rat holes showing us that they also have gotten into the super food! We know what is coming and it comes quickly with lots of mayhem and oversized critters. This makes for a movie that not only is a blast, but also doesn’t allow you to overthink what you are watching.

The wasps, chickens, worms/maggots (awesomely gross), and rats are brought to the screen with all of Gordon’s old school tricks. You have regular sized animals crawling over miniature sets to set the scale. This model work is well done, especially the Winnebago. There are also some crude in camera bits to bring the wasps attacking the characters that I admittedly wasn’t too impressed with. But my personal favorite gag was how they use puppets and latex to have the monsters interreact on camera with the cast. That is some classic stuff and while not giant rabbit attacking in Night of the Lepus it still made me smile.

Got to burn them!

The cast is solid with Marjoe Gortner starring as our main character Morgan. The guy showed up in so many seventies movies that while you may not recognize you know who he is. We also get some classic star power with Ralph Meeker and Ida Lupino. The latter who was in The Devil’s Rain the year before. Lastly the lovely Pamela Franklin is Lorna, Morgan’s love interest, who also appeared in one of my favorites The Legend of Hell House. Gordon knew how to assemble a cast, and this is one of his better ones.

Sure, Food of the Gods is a bit silly. But that is what you should expect from a Bert I. Gordon flick. Giant sized creatures running around killing folks before getting killed off in the final act. This is a formula, and it works especially well here. If you are looking for a monster movie, then you can do a whole lot worse than this one. Give it a chance.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

V/H/S/99 (2022)

I know that these anthology movies have been a mixed bag for some folks and that there are a couple of stinkers in the franchise, but I liked the most recent entry so when this showed up on Shudder, I had to take a look. I’m going to tackle each of the segments one at a time in the order that they appear. I’ll start off each bit with the title of the individual story to keep it all organized.

Shredding. The first has us watching a garage band of kids breaking into an underground club that was shut down years before after a terrible accident killed a bunch of folks. Some of them was a band that they liked, or I suppose claim to like. I say that because after they arrive the idiots decide to do some really dumb stuff that angers the ghosts of the band which leads to them coming back and bloody mayhem ensues.

I didn’t like this one at all. There are some neat looking creatures on a budget and some attempts at gore but the way it was shot makes it impossible to follow. I get it is found footage and that the camera is going to bounce around but to then double down on a silly effect to make it look like it was recorded over other stuff that keeps interrupting and bleeding into the picture was bad. I couldn’t tell what the hell I was supposed to be paying attention to.

Suicide Bid. Next up we see an unpopular, or at least it is hinted she is, girl attempting to join a sorority. I guess they call this a “suicide bid” since she is only trying to join the one and is banking her entire social life on making it in. The sisters at the sorority take her to a spooky graveyard and tell her the story of it being haunted by a girl that was buried alive. She needs to climb in a coffin and be buried alive for the night. But we see they are just messing with her. Sure they put her in the coffin and made it seem like she was buried alive, but she wasn’t and they are just hazing her. Though when the cops show up it goes sideways.

This one pushed my buttons. I have a bit of claustrophobia so her being crammed into the coffin is already a bit freaky. But when they add water into the mix (it rains and the box floods) that had me squirming. Of course, we also get a ghost/zombie creature and a fun twist tossed in as well. While not perfect this one was worth my time.

Ozzy’s Dungeon. Remember those weird Nickelodeon gameshows that were geared to kids? Imagine if there was an underground version of that where bad things happened to those who lost but the reward was getting a wish granted by an all-powerful creature called Ozzy. We watch a young woman participate in the show while being cheered on by family. It doesn’t go well, and she ends up with a nasty looking broken leg and loses the game. The action moves to a later time where the girl’s family has kidnapped the host for ruining her life. Some gross stuff happens, and they end up getting her a wish from Ozzy. But that may have been a huge mistake.

I’m not fond of the ending, which seems forced and is unexplained. But there is some gross stuff in this one including that busted leg that gets twisted around again and again. If you don’t like seeing broken bones in your movies, then you will want to hit the fast forward button here. We also get some fun with acid, crawling thru poop, and a monster that is impressive for the lower budget that these filmmakers were working with. Finally, the actress that plays the mother is awesome.

The Gawkers. Next up is a pervy teenager who uses his camera to spy on his neighbors and overall is just a creeper. He and his friends set their sights on the hottie that moved across the street as we see them sneaking peeks at her in the swimming pool wearing her bikini. When his little brother helps her setup her new iMac (it was fun to see the old shipping box… nice touch) they install spyware that lets them use her webcam to be even more creepy. Though they get way more than they bargained for.

Spoilers ahead. You have been warned. I loved this one. It dusts off a monster that is hardly ever used in movies. I dug the fact that these filmmakers were thinking outside the box. If you are wondering why I’m delaying in mentioning the creature it is to make sure that no one sees it before processing my spoiler warning above. Okay now is the time. There is a freaking Medusa in this flick! How cool is that? I didn’t see it coming, though they certainly gave us enough hints. The monster and it’s kills are brought to the screen nicely. This was a satisfying and entertaining inclusion in the movie.

Mabel rules!

To Hell and Back. Finally, we have saved the best for last. Some documentary filmmakers are invited by a cult to film their summoning of a demon into one of their willing members. Things go sideways and the pair somehow find themselves in Hell. Luckily, they meet a friendly demon that helps them find their way back home by hitching a ride with the summoned demon back to our world. Seems simple, doesn’t it? Well, there are complications and it doesn’t end well for our duo.

Recently I covered a found footage movie called Deadstream from directors Joseph and Vanessa Winter. This is their segment for this anthology, and it is an absolute blast. The sheer amount of creatures and gore in this one is amazing. We get several demons, dozens of bodies, stabbings, and a CGI demon in the shadows that all work perfectly. These are filmmakers who have a knack for squeezing every penny out of their budget and I can’t wait to see what they do next. I was also happy to see that they brought actress Melanie Stone in to play the helpful demon Mabel. She was great in Deadstream playing a creepy ghost and does an equally excellent job here as a demon. V/H/S/99 goes out strong with this segment.

This was such a great time that I’m obviously recommending it. That first story is weak but push thru that and there are some gems here. If they can keep making good quality horror on a budget I hope that this series never ends. As I’ve already mentioned this is streaming on Shudder. Give it a chance.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Dead Before Dawn 3D (2012)

We meet Casper who has some bad memories of the family business, the Occult Barn. We see in a flashback/dream that he watched his father die on the floor after a particularly nasty item fell on him. This has scarred poor Casper who hasn’t set foot in the place since it happened. But when his grandfather, played by the awesome Christopher Lloyd, wins an award he is guilted into covering the shop. The rules are never close during business hours, and never ever go withing spitting distance of an urn.

The girl Casper has a crush on stops by the shop with some other kids from the college and trying to impress her he takes the urn down from the shelf so she can have a closer look. It breaks and he freaks out. They tease him and make up a curse that the evil spirit they just released will inflict on them. Anyone they look at will kill themselves and then come back to murder them. It will be death by hickey… which is a thing, I guess. But if they give a hickey to one of the recently returned monsters after them then they become their slave. Also, they have to put the demon back in the urn before dawn or they will be cursed forever. Much mayhem and silliness ensue as the entire town is trying to kill them before the credits roll.

I watched this one when it first came out. Damn that was ten years ago! I remember liking it a lot and I have to say that nothing has changed. The story is solid and checks a lot of boxes for me. They quickly establish the characters and the outline of the story. Then they jump right into the action with lots of creatures show up and start killing folks. Honestly, that is about all you can ask from a monster movie like Dead Before Dawn. They double down on the fun with a creative twist where the characters make up the curse as a goof, not knowing that the demon they release is angry and uses it against them. So we get for the first time in cinematic history Zemons, half demon and half zombie! This is a nice and funny take on the typical possessed and/or zombie flicks that we get so often.

If what you have read so far hasn’t clued you in yet this movie is played for some laughs and it works. From the silly nature of them making up the rules to the curse on the fly to one of our main characters getting turned into a Zemon when he gets a “dickey” from one of them there is a lot here that had me smiling. They even acknowledge that they have cast Christopher Lloyd by having his character yell a familiar catch phrase when he finds the broken urn. You know the one… it rhymes with late dot!

The design of the creatures are generic with them basically just looking pale with weird eyes. But I was okay with that as they do look demonic. There are also some fun kills that while not overly explicit are creative and work with the overall comedic nature of Dead Before Dawn. There is a kick to the face, a leap from a balcony, some trophy stabbing, crossbow action, a toaster in the tub, and a gnarly looking snapped neck. Though my favorite is the death by first down marker at the football game.

Good cast, decent creatures, fun kills, and jokes that land most of the time make for an entertaining way to kill an hour and a half. I feel like this one maybe slipped past a lot of folks as I don’t see that many people talking about it. I recommend you all give it a chance. It is a lot of fun.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer