Grave of the Vampire (1972)

This along with Blacula and Count Yorga is one of my top three “drive-in” vampire flicks. I’ve been watching this one for years having first seen it on a local horror hosted late night movie show. That transitioned to VHS and then to those budget public domain DVD sets. Of course that means it has always been a beat up and neglected print. But now the folks over at Shout Factory have put out a remastered Blu-Ray with some deleted scenes. Damn I’m excited to check this one out!

The movie opens in the forties with a couple sneaking off from a party to have some sexy type shenanigans in a nearby graveyard. That ends up being a terrible idea because a vampire named Caleb Croft climbs out of his coffin drinks the fella dry and has his way with the lady. She gives birth to a son who is part vampire and nurses him. Though she eventually dies. The action moves forward to the early seventies with the now grown-up boy, James, looking for his bloodsucking father to get some revenge for what was done to his mother.

He does eventually track him down and signs up for his class, Croft is teaching night classes of course! This leads to some murders as Croft does away with an annoying college girl who has figured out his secret and a love triangle of sorts. See James’ lady friend is the spitting image of Croft’s dead vampire wife. All of this results in a séance, more murders, and a twist ending where James puts his father down but with twisted results.

Again, I’ve always loved this movie. Long before Blade we had James the day walker half-vampire half-human. The late great William Smith is excellent as James Eastman playing the character with the right mix of brooding and anger. Michael Pataki is fantastic as Caleb Croft oozing evil as he murders his way thru the cast. He isn’t the tortured type forced to feed but seems to enjoy playing with his food. The rest of the cast is solid.

The story is paced well without any slow spots. Every scene we see is there to move the plot along and either develop the characters or set us up for something twisted that will come along shortly. More than once the movie does something unexpected, mostly due to the unpredictable nature of the Croft character, so you are always guessing as to what is going to happen next. I also thought that the idea of him fathering a half breed was a neat take on the vampire myth. Sure it might not seem so unique now, but for the early seventies this was unexpected. I will admit that there is an odd jump with new characters being quickly introduced for the séance which sets up the ending. But I’d rather they just dive in and keep things moving along briskly then spend time setting up more characters that are just there to be killed off.

This new Blu-Ray has a fantastic transfer which allowed me to appreciate how well Grave of the Vampire was shot. There are so many shadowy scenes that I can actually see now and while it never bothered me in the past this allows me to enjoy the movie that much more. I was also impressed with the deleted scenes. Most of the time these are just bits of dialogue that were trimmed out for pacing reasons. But here the scenes are extended lingering shots of Croft dispatching his victims. While not overly gory they do have a disturbing vibe to them, and I can see why they were trimmed initially. Though it is sad because we lose some excellent bits with Pataki. The guy was clearly having a blast playing Croft.

Grave of the Vampire is one of those rare flicks that has aged well. It is great to see a company spend the time and money to clean up and give it a proper release. I highly recommend it and can say that the new Shout Factory Blu-Ray is the way to watch it. I don’t often recommend people go buy physical media anymore, but this is one of those times that you should.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Don’t Panic (1987)

Recently I have discovered the movies of Mexican director Ruben Galindo Jr. Specifically the three that were dubbed and released in the US. I have already watched Cemetery of Terror and Grave Robbers, so I only had Don’t Panic to check out. I’m glad that I waited to watch this one until last because while I loved the first two this one has issues.

Michael has just moved to Mexico City and is celebrating his birthday with some school friends. After they leave some of them sneak back and convince him to play with a Ouija board. He wants nothing to do with it, but there is a cute girl, so he caves and has a go. Immediately he starts having nightmares of someone killing the other people at the party. But these aren’t just bad dreams as the bodies start to pile up. Clearly something evil is afoot and it is up to Michael to try and save them as well as defeating the evil. Who is the killer and why is this happening? Okay there are some spoilers coming up so if you don’t like that stop reading now. 

For a bit we are led to believe that it is Michael who is possessed. But it turns out that his best friend who brough the board and contacted the spirits is the one who has a demon hanging out in his noggin. Though they are somehow connected so Michael dreams while the other guy kills. This all leads to a big showdown between the pair where no one wins. Yeah, it finishes on a downer. 

Dinosaur PJs... okay I guess

Don’t Panic suffers from some serious pacing issues. While I suppose that they were trying to build some tension and mystery with the story it comes off as confused and disjointed. Sure, we find out what is happening in the final act, but by that time I didn’t really care. The characters aren’t interesting, the story moves along at a glacial pace, and the payoff feels rushed and pointless. It also doesn’t help that the acting isn’t very good with a lead actor and actress that I didn’t care about at all. The worst bit though was the possessed friend, Tony, who doesn’t have enough screen time nor presence to make for a compelling or interesting bad guy. I wasn’t interested in either the story or characters. 

Gore wise there is one highlight with a knife thru the chin that looks decent. The rest of the gore is mediocre and nothing memorable. Almost all of it is backloaded in the last third of the movie which again doesn’t help with the pacing. This is a movie that needed to follow the formula closer and give us boobs or blood every few minutes. 

Let me recommend Cemetery of Terror and Grave Robbers from this same director. As I’ve already mentioned these are great, but Don’t Panic not so much. If you have already watched this one and dismissed the other two trust me, you need to go back and check them out. Not much else to say here. 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Hell Van (2022)

I’ve always prided myself on being transparent about things here at the site so before I begin this review I want to let everyone know that I’m friends with the filmmaker who made Hell Van, Jorge Delarosa. I even had the pleasure of a set visit which I wrote up for Midnight Magazine a couple of years ago. I know that I can still be objective despite this, but I didn’t want anyone to think that I was “shilling” for the movie. I guess that is a spoiler of sorts since I’m clearly going to give Hell Van a positive review.

The story is deceptively simple. We have a firefighter who drives around in his red van burning down churches. Eventually he burns one down that is full of kids. When the locals finally corner him he kills himself right after a “hail Satan”. You guessed it the red panel van is the titular character! The chaos doesn’t end there as everyone who encounters the vehicle ends up dead or worse. The damn thing even drives itself off the salvage lot it was towed to and cruises around town. If you look inside something snaps and you do terrible things. Sometimes to others and sometimes to yourself. I’m trying to keep things vague here as to not spoil the best bits. Eventually the sheriff, played by director Delarosa, corners the thing at the local drive-in for a final confrontation. Though it doesn’t end like I was expecting.

You know I realize that I just wrote that I wasn’t going to spoil things but I don’t think I can properly sing the praises of Hell Van without doing so. With that in mind and if you don’t want the movie spoiled stop reading right now and track yourself down a copy. This is a great movie that I’m going to recommend. As of the writing of this review I don’t think it is available for purchase but that should change soon. Check out their website at https://www.slowmutants.com/ for updates. Now on with the good stuff.

I watch a lot of independent flicks and if you have read many of my reviews you know that one of my biggest complaints is that far too many filmmakers don’t have a fleshed-out story before they go off to make their movie. Hell Van has a very cool story with a beginning, middle, and end. It may seem odd that I’m patting them on the back for such a basic thing, but it’s a huge issue with indie filmmakers. Not only does this have a cohesive narrative but the characters are fleshed out with some history between them. We have a woman cheating on her husband, some drama between father and son, as well as marital issues. None of these slow the main plot of the killer van down, but it adds to the depth of the characters. You feel like these are real people, which makes what happens to them even more disturbing. Solid story with characters you care about is not limited by your budget only by the time you put in ahead of shooting. This is the way it should be done.

I also love how weird the ending gets with what I think is an asteroid or something like it smashing into the drive-in during the big finale. This goes hand in hand with the odd and twisted flashes of scenes that pop up now and then. These inserts set the tone and keep the audience off kilter without overwhelming the story and taking us away from the proceedings. This along with some odd camera angles and the red lighting used when people are in and around the van gives the proceedings a certain The Beyond feeling that as a big Fulci fan I dig. This very much feels like a late seventies early eighties movie.

The special effects work is stellar. There are some fun kills like a bullet to the head, a shotgun to the chest, some gut munching (yes, we get zombies!), and a guy gets sick and is mutated with what I think are teeth sprouting from his skin. That last one is very creepy and I got to watch the makeup get applied during my set visit. Toss in some self-mutilation with a creepy gag involving eyes being gouged out and you have a bloody fun time. They also do a couple exploding cars. Not the crappy CGI that I see in most independent movies but actual cars blowing up and burning! Toss in a couple people getting set on fire and you have a movie that is trying to do things in a very “old school” manner that you just don’t see anymore. Hell, we get a couple of actual models used for a burning church and for the tracking shot of the asteroid thing hitting the drive-in. I loved this!

This is a fantastic movie that I absolutely loved. Again, I don’t think that I’m being biased and if I had issues with Hell Van, I would voice them. Before watching the movie I sat down and literally created a list with check boxes that I wanted to see or for some not see. When the end credits rolled I had all the boxes checked and couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend ninety minutes. This is the sort of filmmaking that we as fans should support. I promise that you won’t be disappointed with this one. Again hit their website up at https://www.slowmutants.com/ for more information.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Throwback Thursday - My Favorite Al Adamson Movie

note: I wrote this for the Grindhouse Purgatory issue dedicated to Al Adamson. I'm not a big fan of his but I've always dug Five Bloody Graves and was happy to cover it for the issue. 

My Favorite Al Adamson Movie: Five Bloody Graves

by John Shatzer

How is everyone doing? Here I sit putting the finishing touches on my article for the latest issue of Grindhouse Purgatory quarantined in my house. We are living in a strange world my friends. I had kidded that sitting at home on the couch watching movies was something that I had been training for my entire life. It was fun for a week or two, but then I got bored. Thankfully, I have this article and a few other projects to keep me occupied while I wait for the world to get back to some sort of normalcy. Hell, maybe by the time you are reading this we are all hanging out again and talking movies. Enough with all of this depressing shit lets dive into some Al Adamson Western goodness

When Pete told me that the next issue of the magazine was going to be a tribute to Al Adamson I sort of panicked. While I love cheesy low budget movies, I’ve always felt like many of Adamson’s flicks were boring and not at all fun. Sure, I dig Satan’s Sadists and Angel’s Wild Women, but those were already spoken for. Then I remembered Five Bloody Graves and did a little jig. While I haven’t seen it in years, I did think that I enjoyed the movie so after asking to make sure it was available, obviously it was, I went looking for a copy to review. There is a surprising amount of options, but I decided to watch a beat-up print complete with scratches and pops. It just seemed right.

Before I get to talking about the movie, I suppose I should give a bit more explanation when I say that I find Adamson’s work boring and not fun. To begin with let me stress that I have watched all of his movies. I’m a big drive-in nerd and love bad movies. Hell Ted V. Mikels is one of my favorite directors, so I’m not unrealistic when it comes to independent movies from the ‘60s and ‘70s. When I watch an Adamson flick it doesn’t seem like there is a complete script as characters seem to do random actions that don’t always make sense. There is also normally a ton of padding which makes for a tedious viewing experience. I’ve seriously used his movies to help me fall asleep during bouts of insomnia. I’m not being a smart ass about this it’s the truth. There are some exceptions like those I’ve mentioned above, but they normally are helped along by a great cast having fun. But this one is different in that it has maybe the most unique and best story that Adamson ever shot. Now that you know where I’m coming from let’s get to talking about Five Bloody Graves.

Ben Thompson, played by drive-in legend Robert Dix, is riding back from somewhere when he starts to meet up with people. One is an old flame, another is a half-breed Indian that he is friendly with, and yet more are a group of stranded travelers stuck when their wagon rolled over and the horses ran off. The connection between all of these characters, other than Thompson, is that they are all being menaced by some Indians that have gone on the warpath. Toss in some gun runners that have been providing the means for the Indians to stir up trouble and we have our characters.

Robert Dix is excellent

After watching some bad things happen eventually all the characters end up together and have to fight their way out of the territory they are in while being harassed and picked off along the way. If the Indians trying to kill them isn’t bad enough you also get some internal conflict as most of the characters are flawed and turn on each other. By flawed I mean cranky and downright abusive. Between the ambushes and bickering most are lost on the way. I can’t say more without explaining a very important plot device.

The story of Five Bloody Graves is an interesting one that is surprisingly complex and filled with action. Almost immediately we get this strange narrator talking directly to the audience about Thompson and his history. How he lost his wife to a bullet that had been intended for him and how he had been seeking out death since then. But he couldn’t die because he was a servant of death and that death wasn’t done with him yet. Then you start to figure out and eventually are told that our narrator is death and that he is explaining why things are happening. So basically, the idea is that everyone who Thompson meets up with either dies by his hand or gets caught up in the violence surrounding him. This is best summed up by one of the last lines in the movie, “…there can be but one victor and that is death…”. This is kind of deep.

Referring back to what I had mentioned above I was a bit concerned when I started watching this one because it starts off with that feeling of random characters and action scenes not really fitting together. It seems like Dix’s character is just going to ride around stumbling over one fight to another for the duration. For a good half an hour that is what happens, but this is actually just introducing the characters and setting up the rest of the story. Once they all meet up what felt like disconnected plot lines suddenly click together. At that point all of the stuff that was set up gets resolved and we find out more about Thompson and his connection to death. I had forgotten the details in the years since I last watched Five Bloody Graves and found myself really getting into and enjoying it as the narrative progressed. The pacing is wonderful with a lot of shootouts and fighting to keep things interesting and moving along briskly.

Speaking of the shootouts and fighting the stunt work is top notch. You get a lot of gun play with actors that clearly know their way around firearms. Many of the cast members had a long history working on Westerns, more on that later, and it shows. Nothing can kill a flick more than seeing people who are clearly not comfortable with guns trying to act as if they have lived their lives with one strapped to their hip. Same goes for riding horses, which again this cast is total comfortable with. This includes a lot of trick riding, especially falls. The fight choreography is very good as the fights feel real and there aren’t the awkward pauses that you sometimes get in low budget flicks. Considering that John ‘Bud’ Cardos helped with the stunts as well as starring in one of the roles that shouldn’t be a surprise.

John Carradine sighting!

I’ve already mentioned Robert Dix but that isn’t the only familiar face you get to see. Scott Brady, veteran of many drive-in favorites as well as a frequent guest star on television shows sinks his teeth into an abusive pimp traveling with his “girls”. Jim Davis, another veteran of television as well as a ton of Westerns, gets to play a gun running rapist that gets what is coming to him. John ‘Bud’ Cardos is Joe Lightfoot, the half-breed Indian and sort of side kick to Thompson. It doesn’t end well for him. Best of all is John Carradine in the most John Carradine of characters the cranky old preacher Boone Hawkins. Seriously guys there is a lot of “A” list drive-in talent in this movie.

One more thing that I wanted to mention that I found amusing. I had just covered Beyond Atlantis for the Sid Haig tribute issue and was shocked when I heard some familiar music at the opening of Five Bloody Graves. Now this isn’t the first time that I had that happen to me where someone used the same music library to score their flick (Night of the Living Dead and Teenagers from Outer Space come to mind) but it was weird that it happened in back to back movies I was covering for Grindhouse Purgatory. Plus, I’m such a huge nerd that immediately after the end credits rolled on Adamson’s flick I had to pop in my Blu-Ray of Beyond Atlantis.

Honestly, I found this movie to be very entertaining and highly recommend that people check it out. My opinion about Al Adamson’s work in general hasn’t changed. I’m still not a fan of most of it. But I think that it is important, especially in this day and age when everyone is looking to get offended, that you all understand something. I’m not saying that his work has no value. Adamson has a lot of fans and if you are one of them then good for you. There are plenty of filmmakers and movies that I love, and other people hate. The majority of his stuff just doesn’t appeal to me. 

Well I suppose this is all I have to say about Five Bloody Graves. As always you can email me with any questions or comments. I’m even willing to debate the value of Adamson’s work with anyone out there. I’d love to hear from you regardless of whether we agree or not. That email address is gutmunchers@gmail.com. Until next time stay safe and keep watching the classics. Thanks, as always, to 42^nd Street Pete for letting me write for such a cool magazine. Don’t forget to support him by buying back issues and check out his Gunslinger books. They kick much ass!

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Crabs! (2021)

We see a nuclear plant explode because that happens sometimes. Then it transitions to a shot of lady boobs as a couple is getting busy on the beach. A crab interrupts them, which freaks the girl out but the guy, after some initial frustration, decides to mess with it. This leads to his face getting eaten off and an unfortunate attempt to help him with a big rock. Okay movie you have my attention.

We are now introduced to our main characters. Phillip the teen stuck in a wheelchair, his chipper bestie Maddy, Phillip’s deputy older brother Hunter, and Maddy’s super-hot science teacher mom Annalise. Oh shit I almost forgot my new favorite character, Radu the exchange student. They are going along minding their own business, which means Phillip is building mechanical legs to allow him to walk, when the crabs show up. The nasty little critters start to kill everyone leading to a big showdown with the momma crab that is the size of Godzilla. Lucky for us the same power source that allowed Phillip to make mechanical legs also power the giant mecha that they build to fight the creature. This movie is awesomely weird.

If not clear yet this movie is a comedy that also works well as a science fiction/creature feature flick. The pacing is fun with laughs and occasional gore tossed in along the way. This is the tried-and-true creature feature formula that we all know and many of us love. I dig that they don’t try to reinvent the wheel but rather focus on the execution. They made a fun flick that gives you damn near everything you could want in a movie like this. Likeable characters combined with cool monsters and a splash of blood. The jokes all land and had me giggling consistently from start to finish. I enjoyed the character of Radu who has the best lines. He is the perfect comic foil for the story to not so much focus on but have pop in now and then with something silly to say.  

Time to do some SCIENCE!!!

The creatures look good and are all practical effects work. We even get a bit of Kaiju action in the finale which is also brought to the screen with dudes in rubber suits. The crab monsters look cool and have a couple of different forms. The kills, while not overly bloody, are satisfying and we get a lot of them. There is some real carnage at prom, which all good horror movies should have! Some highlights for me are the dangling eyeball, the DJ blood spray, and a dude bro losing his face. There is a bit of CGI for a nasty looking dead whale, but that didn’t ruin things for me. All in all, this was an excellent effort on a budget, and I give the filmmakers a lot of credit.

A flick like Crabs! is why I never stop watching weird movies. Sometimes you stumble over one that sticks with you and that you want to share with people. Please do yourself a favor and go find a copy of this one. You won’t be disappointed.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

Master of Horror (1965)

Time to check out an anthology that I’ve never heard of before. Master of Horror was originally released in Argentina in the late fifties. In sixty-five it was recut dropping one of the three segments and dubbed for a U.S. release. The stories were adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe tales with The Case of Mr. Valdemar and The Cask of Amontillado being the pair that made the cut.

First up is The Case of Mr. Valdemar. In this one we are introduced to a doctor who thinks he can use hypnotism to cure insanity. He goes to an insane asylum and does his magic on a woman patient there. It works too well as she wakes up during the night sane and dies of fright when she realizes she is locked up in the nut house. Discouraged he is visited by his friend Valdemar who tries to encourage him. During that discussion his impending death from an incurable disease comes up. The pair decide that Valdemar will by hypnotized right before he dies to see if they can prevent it. That isn’t going to end well.

This isn’t too bad. The story drags a bit, but overall, I was interested. I’ve read the story, so I knew what was coming. Still the adaptation was decent enough to keep my attention. This is a low budget affair with minimal sets/locations. It leans heavily on the cast to sell the scenes to the audience, which they do. That said the payoff at the end when the long dead but still talking Valdemar is snapped out of his trance was decent. He basically melts/decomposes in front of his doctors. Simple effect but sometimes those are the best kind. I rather liked it.

The second story was The Cask of Amontillado. When a salesman rolls into a small town and starts to romance a married woman her husband takes notice. The boastful man talks about his knowledge of wine and since the husband runs a successful vineyard he offers to take the man into his cellar to sample the finest examples from his private stash. It isn’t until they are down there that it becomes clear it is a setup. The husband knew all along that his wife and the salesman were canoodling and is determined to make them pay. Thus comes the infamous “walled up alive in the cellar” bit that even the most casual Poe fan recognizes. 

They took some liberties with this story when adapting it to the screen. I get why since the source material is light on backstory and motivation, but I only wish they had done a better job. I can’t say that the story grinds to a halt because it never gets rolling at all. I was never interested in the characters and the illicit frolicking of the lovers feels nothing more than filler before they get to the good stuff. The actors are okay, but I never felt like there was any horror in the man being walled up. Not even when the fate of the wife is revealed to him. Unlike the first story the cast here doesn’t sell it and that made for a tedious watch.

Clocking in at a total of sixty-one minutes Master of Horror isn’t a big commitment. The first story is worth a watch so despite my disappointment with The Cast of Amontillado I’m still going to recommend tracking this one down. It can be a bit of a hassle finding a copy but if like me you are always on the lookout for cinematic oddities, I think it is worth the effort. What I need to do now is find the original cut with all three stories and some English subtitles. 

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer

House (1985)

Time to delve deep into another franchise. This time around it is the loosely connected House series of movies. I know you, the uninitiated, probably thing there are only two in the series. Well, there are four so that is enough to make it a franchise in my book. Time to dig into the first and honestly best in the series.

William Katt plays a famous horror author named Roger. As the story opens we see that he is struggling to write his next book amid recently losing his son and getting divorced from his wife. His aunt who raised him kills herself and he moves into her old house. The same house where he saw his son disappear into the swimming pool, though no one believed him. Not long after arriving he starts to see ghosts including that of his aunt. She warns him that the house tricked her and that he needs to get out before it is too late. But he won’t leave. Instead, he works on his book about his experiences in Vietnam. We see these played out as flashbacks. It is here that we meet his army buddy Big Ben. Things don’t end well for Ben and that has a connection to the house and Roger’s son disappearing.

This is a classic from the eighties and one that most of us probably rented more than once on VHS. It has a great group of actors with William Katt, Richard Moll, and George Wendt, who is Roger’s nosey neighbor Harold. Moll and Wendt are both known for their comedic roles and that is put to good use in House. While I wouldn’t consider this a horror comedy it does have a lot of funny lines in it. Having some cast with comedic timing works in favor of the movie and was some inspired casting. The underrated Fred Dekker wrote the story that the screenplay is based on, and Steve Miner directed. That is a lot of horror cred right there, so it isn’t any wonder the movie works so well.

Being an eighties horror movie, we have to talk special effects work. We don’t get any gory kills, but we do have four cool looking creatures. First up is the closet monster that Roger encounters early on after his return to the house. It is a large puppet that pops out and attacks him a couple of times. While it looks like a puppet, I still think that it works well on screen. Then you get Demon Sandy. Roger’s ex-wife stops by to check up on him, but of course it isn’t her but the house messing with him. Quickly we get demon Sandy, which is an actor in a latex body suit and is reminiscent of Henrietta from Evil Dead II. We also get a stop motion skull bat that attacks Roger when he crosses over to look for his son. Cheesy but again I rather liked it. Finally, zombie Big Ben shows up. This makeup gets a lot of screen time, and deservedly so. This is by far my favorite creature.

This is a great movie and a must see if you are a horror fan. It seems that I see a budget DVD with House and House II in the aisles of most big box stores every Halloween, so it is easy to get your hands on. I highly recommend it.

 

© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer