The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Well holy shit… I always thought that children’s entertainment of the sixties and seventies were scary as hell but never thought someone would get their hands on one of the properties and do something nuts with it. Then I saw the teaser for The Banana Splits Movie and did a double take. I’ve been dying to see this since that trailer and honestly it did not disappoint.

A little boy, Harley, gets tickets to see the Banana Splits for his birthday. He, his mom and stepbrother as well as his piece of crap Dad head out for a day of fun. Drug along with them is a little girl that really doesn’t want to go but is made to by her mother. Don’t worry this is all presented quickly so that we can get to the good stuff. They arrive get seated and we meet the behind the scenes crew including the VP of programming that announces they are canceled. One of the Splits hears this and that gets the ball rolling.

The Banana Splits are robots and are programmed with the command the show must go on. The only logical thing to do is go on a killing spree! I mean they only kill the adults and just kidnap the kids to ensure they have an audience forever. Again, the show must go on. This leads to some mayhem as Harley’s mother and brother do battle with the fuzzy menaces as they try to save the day. Cue the bloody chaos.

I love this movie. It is twisted, gory, insane fun the likes of which I’ve not seen in a long time. The kills are inventive with each one having the sort of payoff that I’m looking for. There are lollipops jammed down throats, a dude sawn in half, someone else gets hammered and other keyed. My personal favorite is the last one where Mitch, the jerk Dad, gets what is coming to him in a spectacular way. Most of the gore is practical and while it is clear they were limited at times with budget they do have a couple gags that are awesome. If you dig old school gore and kills The Banana Splits Movie is going to scratch that itch.

I love this movie

The characters are okay, but the real stars of the movie are the performers in the suits playing Bingo, Feegle, Snorky, and Drooper. The way they move and interact with their victims is creepy especially since they act just like the mascots at your typical theme park do. Instead of going over the top this is more realistic and therefore much creepier. Not to say there aren’t laughs. I mean when they had a call back to a line about a big hammer I giggled. Then again maybe I shouldn’t have. Years of watching horror flicks might have twisted me a bit. I’m okay with that.  

I have nothing bad to say about this flick. It is amazing to me that they were able to get the property in the first place, much less go so dark with it. Sure, the Splits aren’t a huge franchise, but they do have some name recognition. Everyone needs to go out and purchase a copy of this movie. Horror fans need to support creative stuff like this otherwise all we are going to get is the same recycled Hollywood BS! I highly recommend The Banana Splits Movie.

© Copyright 2019 John Shatzer

Messiah of Evil (1973)

After an opening scene involving some murder the action moves to the main character. She is the daughter of an artist who comes to the small coastal town where her father as retreated to do some painting. She finds his house empty with no leads on where he has gone. The locals seem rather shifty and give her the cold shoulder when she asks them if they have seen him. The daughter, Arletty, eventually meets a strange man who is also a stranger in town. His name is Thom and with his two lovely companions is in town doing some sort of research on something. That bit gets somewhat vague, but he does become interested in Arletty and the trio end up crashing at her house.

So, what is going on? Without too many spoilers the locals are all caught up in some sort of curse that “infects” them. This makes them destroy or recruit outsiders to join their cult. A hundred years before the events of this movie a mysterious stranger walked into the community and then into the sea. It is explained that he was the minister of the Donner party, so I guess also a cannibal. He promised to return a hundred years later for the end of the world or something like that. Again, here things aren’t totally clear. After a vague ending we are treated to Arletty in a mental hospital where she has apparently been telling the story from.

This is one of those strange movies where I can’t tell if I like it or hate it. The plot is a mess and doesn’t make much sense. What story we do get is told in a weird flashback to the stranger that sets up the blood moon and attempts to explain why people are acting so weird and running around murdering those that don’t belong to their little cult. The motivations of said cult aren’t explained and neither is why some folks are killed and others turn into cultists. We also get some very slow spots were the flick spends a lot of time on the visuals without any attempts at moving things along.

This is why I always sit in the back row at the movies!

That said there are times that Messiah of Evil is really good. At different points both of Thom’s lady companions go into town. One is trying to leave and the other pops out to see a movie. This leads to a couple sequences that are excellent. One has the unfortunate girl meeting up with some locals frequenting the butcher’s table at the grocery store. While not seen it is implied that she gets added to the menu. The other is set in the movie theater and has one of the coolest scenes I’ve ever seen in a horror flick. The girl is watching the trailers before the feature and we see a lot of creepy looking folks filing in and sitting behind her. This is genuinely spooky looking and the scene that most people remember from the movie. Again, it doesn’t end well for her.

I had difficulty writing this review because I feel so ambivalent about this one. The movie has its fans and I can see why. Those two scenes I mentioned above aren’t alone. There are some great scenes and moments to be had in Messiah of Evil, which I appreciate. But there are also times when the plot gets bogged down. In many ways this feels like an art film with its focus on camera angles and weird lighting. Unlike an Argento film this feels forced and doesn’t help tell the story. Sort of like art for the sake of art. I think I’ve talked myself into not recommending the movie.

Then again maybe I haven’t. I think I’ll leave it up to you, the reader, to decide. It is easily found on YouTube or any of those public domain sets floating around if anything I’ve said interests you. If not, then I’m glad to have saved you from wasting your time on it.

note: I've linked to an online copy of the movie instead of a trailer. 

© Copyright 2019 John Shatzer