Cooties (2014)

The Zombie marathon continues with this undead/infected flick. Well now I know what happens when children are fed contaminated chicken nuggets. They turn into rabid infected/zombie killing machines that only want to eat the flesh of those they find! Yeah, this movie is awesome. But I’m getting a head of myself so before I continue let’s check out Cooties.

Clint is back in his hometown after failing to get his novel finished while living in the big city. He is going to spend his summer as a substitute teacher, but on his first day things get strange. The children at the school eat some bad chicken nuggets that turns them into flesh craving zombies! The infection spreads quickly and soon the surviving teachers are in hiding. They need to escape, but this is complicated by some of the zombie children being smart enough to cut the power and phones. Will they escape and find help? Will Clint admit that he isn’t a very good writer? Who cares I just want to see them smash some more evil zombie children!

I feel the need to point out right away that this is a comedy. If you are looking for a serious take on zombies this isn’t the movie for you. I would expect with the title of Cooties and a cast filled with actors best known for their comedic roles that would be obvious, but after a quick look online I guess not. Rainn Wilson (The Office), Nasim Pedrad (SNL), and Jack McBrayer (30 Rock) are all very funny and again should have tipped people off as to what kind of movie they were going to watch.

With that established I have to say that this is a very funny movie. It takes the absurd situation of zombie children eating their teachers and runs with it. The dialogue is filled with some very funny lines, including one character referring to Clint, played by Elijah Wood, as a hobbit. There is also a reoccurring bit with the Rainn Wilson character where he can’t say dual rear wheel when referring to his truck. And we have a stoner in a van thinking that he might be on a really bad trip while watching the playground turn into a bloodbath. Oh and if you ever wanted to see Elijah Wood do “bodily function” humor then this is the movie for you! There is a lot of laughs to be had in Cooties.

Kids man... they freak me out!

I really liked this movie but I feel the need to manage expectations a bit. When talking about a comedic zombie movie the gold standard is probably either Return of the Living Dead or Shaun of the Dead. To be fair Cooties doesn’t come close to either of them for different reasons. The gore here is light and too much CGI is used. So, in that way it doesn’t compare well to Return. And while there are a few nice scenes between the characters Cooties doesn’t have the emotional impact of Shaun of the Dead. I mean when Ed got bit we were all sad. Cooties had a chance to do something like that but went for a couple extra laughs and a bad ass one-liner instead. For me this is the difference between liking and loving a movie.

Obviously, I’m going to recommend checking this one out. I think it is a fun way to kill some time. If you are in the mood for some laughs and zombie kids grab yourself a copy of Cooties.

© Copyright 2017 John Shatzer