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I thought I'd kick the new year off with another movie marathon. I thought it was time to check out a few old school mystery flicks. Som...

Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Jurassic Dead (2018)

The zombie marathon continues, this time with a twist. Zombie dinosaurs! How cool is that? At least it sounds like a crazy concept that could be really fun or go horribly wrong. Which way do you think it went? Let’s find out.

Follow me here because this plot has many twists, turns, and giant holes that we need to navigate. There is a scientist dude that gets mad at a meeting because “they” take his work and weaponize it. There is a meeting and he brings a dinosaur’s corpse back to life. Wait what? Where the hell did the dinosaur’s body come from? Before we get any answers, there is a shoot-out and the screen informs us that it is a year later.

Same scientist guy is teaching his students about stuff and what not. He reanimates a dead cat and then gets fired because that isn’t what higher education is about? Not sure. He does get run over by a car as he is carrying the boxes out of his office. We then get a crawl where we find out that an evil scientist is doing bad stuff and we should all be concerned. Not to worry though a crack team of mercenaries are sent to his secret lair to take care of him. That isn’t a very good secret lair if they can find you that easy.

The mercenaries have a run in with some annoying college kids and eventually get stuck with them as both groups end up at the secret lair. Oh, before I forget there are asteroids that cause an EMP which destroys the power grid and screws up electronics. The evil science guy knew that as well. He timed his evil plan to release the zombie gas in major cities because he is mad about things. For fun he releases a bunch of zombie dinosaurs for the mercenaries and kids to fight. If they bite you then you become a zombie too. Wait where did he get the dinosaur bodies? My brain hurts.

Lame... very lame.
This is the strangest attempt at making a movie that I’ve seen in a long time. The plot makes zero sense and feels like a badly scripted video game. This isn’t helped by the obvious references to games in the movie. Our mercenaries are all dressed like generic characters from games. One is a swat guy (that is the character’s name!), another a redneck, and finally we get Duque. Dude is dressed just like Duke Nuke’em from the video game. They even mention it in the dialogue. I found this all very annoying.

I did like that they used rubber puppets for the various dinosaurs and attacks. I got a real Carnosaur vibe from the movie and smiled every time I saw the cast interacting with an actual latex appliance. I was even more surprised when they were trying to make their escape in a Humvee and realized that the filmmakers were using models for that as well. You never see this sort of effort made in low budget flicks anymore, so I loved that. But then they blow the whole thing. Instead of finding a generic warehouse or pumping station to stand in for the secret lair they use green screens and bad digital effects work to create it. Really? You did the hardest bit with puppets and models but then screw it all up with what should have been easiest? So disappointed.

I get that this entire production was tongue in cheek and supposed to be silly. They succeed in that mission at times but fail to make a decent movie that the kind of dude who slaps his money down for a zombie dinosaur flick will want to watch. If you can watch this for free do it, but don’t spend money to purchase a copy. This is an utterly forgettable flick that you’ll never watch again. Plus, I have a feeling that this will wear on a lot of people fairly quickly and it will get shut off before it finishes.

© Copyright 2018 John Shatzer

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