The zombie
marathon continues, this time with a twist. Zombie dinosaurs! How cool is that?
At least it sounds like a crazy concept that could be really fun or go horribly
wrong. Which way do you think it went? Let’s find out.
Follow me
here because this plot has many twists, turns, and giant holes that we need to
navigate. There is a scientist dude that gets mad at a meeting because “they”
take his work and weaponize it. There is a meeting and he brings a dinosaur’s
corpse back to life. Wait what? Where the hell did the dinosaur’s body come
from? Before we get any answers, there is a shoot-out and the screen informs us
that it is a year later.
Same
scientist guy is teaching his students about stuff and what not. He reanimates
a dead cat and then gets fired because that isn’t what higher education is
about? Not sure. He does get run over by a car as he is carrying the boxes out
of his office. We then get a crawl where we find out that an evil scientist is
doing bad stuff and we should all be concerned. Not to worry though a crack
team of mercenaries are sent to his secret lair to take care of him. That isn’t
a very good secret lair if they can find you that easy.
The
mercenaries have a run in with some annoying college kids and eventually get
stuck with them as both groups end up at the secret lair. Oh, before I forget
there are asteroids that cause an EMP which destroys the power grid and screws
up electronics. The evil science guy knew that as well. He timed his evil plan
to release the zombie gas in major cities because he is mad about things. For
fun he releases a bunch of zombie dinosaurs for the mercenaries and kids to
fight. If they bite you then you become a zombie too. Wait where did he get the
dinosaur bodies? My brain hurts.
 |
| Lame... very lame. |
This is
the strangest attempt at making a movie that I’ve seen in a long time. The plot
makes zero sense and feels like a badly scripted video game. This isn’t helped
by the obvious references to games in the movie. Our mercenaries are all
dressed like generic characters from games. One is a swat guy (that is the
character’s name!), another a redneck, and finally we get Duque. Dude is
dressed just like Duke Nuke’em from the video game. They even mention it in the
dialogue. I found this all very annoying.
I did like
that they used rubber puppets for the various dinosaurs and attacks. I got a
real Carnosaur vibe from the movie and smiled every time I saw the cast
interacting with an actual latex appliance. I was even more surprised when they
were trying to make their escape in a Humvee and realized that the filmmakers
were using models for that as well. You never see this sort of effort made in
low budget flicks anymore, so I loved that. But then they blow the whole thing.
Instead of finding a generic warehouse or pumping station to stand in for the secret
lair they use green screens and bad digital effects work to create it. Really?
You did the hardest bit with puppets and models but then screw it all up with
what should have been easiest? So disappointed.
I get that
this entire production was tongue in cheek and supposed to be silly. They
succeed in that mission at times but fail to make a decent movie that the kind
of dude who slaps his money down for a zombie dinosaur flick will want to
watch. If you can watch this for free do it, but don’t spend money to purchase
a copy. This is an utterly forgettable flick that you’ll never watch again. Plus,
I have a feeling that this will wear on a lot of people fairly quickly and it
will get shut off before it finishes.
© Copyright 2018 John Shatzer
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