I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker (2016)

One of the stated goals here at the horror dude blog is to turn you guys onto movies that you might not have heard of before. That means I end up watching a lot of low budget independent flicks which sadly leads to many miserable nights. Though finding a movie like House Harker makes all the hours I sit rolling my eyes at the nonsense on the screen worth it. Time for some vampires and goofballs!

Thru some creative storytelling we find out that after killing Dracula the Harker family moved to America. The only thing that they brought with them was the skull of the master vampire, which if it absorbs blood can wake up a sleeping vampire. This is important later. The current generation of Harkers consist of two goofball brothers, Ned and Charlie, as well as their incredibly hot sister Paige. Sadly, they are the town joke and are about to lose their house to the local historical society. If that isn’t enough there is an accident with a serial killer dying that makes it look to the world like there is a vampire running about. Shop-Vacs can do that I guess…

Here is where things get interesting. The brothers figure out that they can maybe make enough cash to save their house by monetizing the town’s sudden interest in vampires. When a neighbor lady, who is crazy, drops dead while holding them at gunpoint her husband wants to help them continue the plan by making it look like she was killed by a vampire as well! So, they hatch a plan where they can do battle with a “vampire” (really an actor hired by the brothers) in front of a paying audience. Of course, when the first person died in their house it woke up a real vampire that tracks them down and attacks instead. As the title of the movie says good times are had by all… or at least those that survive!

This is an independent movie that knows exactly what it is doing. The story is tight with the movie clocking in at a brisk eighty minutes. We get some character development to establish who everyone is and how they will fit into the story. But it wastes no time before getting to the good stuff. Things kick off with the accidental death of the serial murderer that is killed and then drained by the shop-vac and ends up with the inside of the house liberally sprayed in the blood after the vampire attack. In between there is always something funny happening.

There is no shortage of blood in this one!

The big bad vampire that is called when the blood touches the vampire skull looks suitably scary enough and has some sort of rigging on his legs to make him appear huge. The actor portraying the creature does a wonderful job in how he moves and interacts with the cast. The other vampires that are created when he attacks are your typical fanged bloodsuckers. Though in many cases they are played for laughs and done so very well. The big fight with the house full of vampires is filled with funny bits that are spot on and come at the audience rapidly. These guys know their comedy and how to make an audience chuckle.

I didn’t want I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker to end. But I have hope that there are more stories to be told. The neighbor that had the horrible wife also has this funny backstory as a priest. He spent years doing exorcisms and getting puked on. After retiring he missed getting yelled at which is why he ended up married to a horrible woman. It is actually a very funny bit. At the end of the movie he drops the line, “Vampires are nothing compared to Werewolves…” Oh hell yes! I want to see the Harkers fight some damn Lycanthropes! Until then I recommend finding yourself a copy of I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker.

© Copyright 2018 John Shatzer