case you didn’t notice the date, this review is for the remake that debuted on
SyFy channel in October of last year. This is not only a remake, but I suppose
a parody and/or updating of the franchise to reflect current views on gender
roles. Yeah, I’m sort of worried already. Oh, and be warned there are some
spoilers below. If you just want to see my final recommendation skip to the
movie starts off in ninety-three as some girls are frolicking at an isolated
cabin, drinking, eating pizza, and dancing… all in their pajamas. Hey this is a
made for television flick so what did you expect? A jealous ex-boyfriend shows
up and harasses then sneaks a peak thru the window. Then the killer shows up
with his drill and starts to murder everyone. Well, there is one final girl who
knocks him into the lake where everyone thinks he drowned.
forward to today and we meet a new batch of girls, one of whom is the daughter
of our survivor. They head out for a week at the lake and end up at a house
across from the house where all the murders happened. What a coincidence!
Except it isn’t because this was all planned by the girls to draw the killer
out. Since they never found the body and more girls had disappeared, they
assume that he is still alive. And sure enough that first night he shows up and
comes after them. But there is a huge complication from a group of boys staying
across the lake in the murder house. They are generally dumb, take their shirts
off, have the dude equivalent of a pillow fight, and one of them gets naked to
take a shower. Yeah, cool I see what they did there. Tack on a couple of twists
and that’s the movie.
have to say that the pacing of Slumber Party Massacre is decent. The flashback
plays out like a bonus mini slasher flick and one that feels very old school in
the way the characters are portrayed. I liked the idea that the mom is the only
survivor, and her daughter is the one that goes after the killer. That was fun.
I also thought the actresses throughout were great. They didn’t have a lot
asked of them but clearly, they have talent. There are also some clever
callbacks to the original with the giant drill being used as the weapon of
choice as well as a subtly placed van that should look familiar. We even get a
funny reference to the original’s sequel when a very familiar guitar shows up.
These are all good things.
movie is hamstrung by being made for basic cable. It can’t go where most
slasher flicks go. The kills are rather tame and while occasionally fun you
don’t see much. Much of the work is CGI and what little practical effects we
see are basic and honestly not very good. There are a healthy twelve kills
including the drill going thru necks, foreheads, and chests. There is also a
nail gun to the eye, a skill saw thru the stomach, and some gouged out eyes. My
favorite kill, not due to execution but because it is so creative, is a face
getting peeled off by a wire getting stuck on the drill. Now all this stuff
sounds great, but it is mostly seen after the fact or done onscreen with
mediocre CGI. I just wasn’t digging it.
I’m going to show my age. I had always thought if there was a genre that would
be safe from the woke crowd it would be slasher movies. At their core they are
sleazy and sexist tales where girls get naked and killed in horrible ways. Yes,
the guys die too but let’s be honest we watch for the nudity and murders that
follow it. Not saying that is right or okay, but it is what it is. Here we have
a flick that lets the guys get naked and do stupid stuff and the girls save the
day. Though if you think about the classic slasher flicks it normally was the
final girl that beat the killer so yeah… Regardless this wouldn’t have bothered
me so much if they hadn’t been so damned obvious about it. One of the guys
mentions his toxic masculinity right as he is about to do something foolhardy. Also,
when given the chance the dude drives away leaving the girls to their fate.
Basically, every male character is either cowardly, stupid, or the killer. I
get they wanted to play with the formula but as much as critics want to make it
out that all the female characters in old schools’ slashers were bimbos that
isn’t the case. Again, most of the time they were the protagonists who overcome
the killer or at least survive them. This feels less like flipping the script
and more like sending a message.
ruined Slumber Party Massacre for me. Though I’m thinking that this movie is
made for the crowd that appreciates such things. If that is you then I’d say
check it out. But for old school fans I think this is a hard pass.
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