The Monster of Blackwood Castle (1968)

If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m a huge fan of mystery movies. I mean you are here for my third annual review marathon so it should be obvious by now. That said I’ve never understood the appeal of these West German productions of Edgar Wallace novels. Something about them just doesn’t connect. That said I’ve been told that The Monster of Blackwood Castle is the best of the series, so I figured it was worth a shot.

The movie opens with a guy walking in the fog thru what looks like a marsh or perhaps a forest. There is some howling and then the groovy sixties chase music kicks in. He is cornered by a “beast” (actually just a Doberman) who attacks him. Later we see a man with an eye patch dumping the body in the water, which turns out to be the moat of Blackwood Castle. This is all witnessed by another man who doesn’t intervene but seems interested in what is happening. That is all before the main story even kicks in!

Jane arrives at Blackwood Castle to make her inheritance official. Her father had just passed so the whole place is hers know. Though the solicitor tries to get her to sell the place right away for a tidy sum. Then another man shows up and offers twice that tidy sum to buy the castle immediately. Sensing something might be up Jane refuses to sell and is immediately set upon by all sorts of shenanigans. Plastic skeletons, impromptu power outages, snakes slithering between the sheets. Someone really wants her to sell the place! More people come to town and many more die to the “monster”, which is again just a Doberman, before the big mystery is revealed.

This next bit is a spoiler so be warned. Her dead father was the leader of a gang that stole a pile of gems and jewelry. He is dead, the other members of the gang is looking for it, and someone is killing them off. Toss in a couple more twists that I’m not going to share here and you have yourself a movie.

So, what did I think? Well first off someone has read A. Conan Doyle’s Hound of the Baskervilles as this movie clearly took some inspiration from that novel. The setting of the spooky estate, the nearby moors aka. marsh, and of course the canine killer all are lifted directly from that. The pacing isn’t great. It kicks off with a murder but then bogs down as characters are introduced and then killed off without a great deal of explanation as to what is going on. There is zero chance of following along or figuring out what the hell is going on. That was annoying and I found myself bored with what I was watching.

There are also a couple gags that didn’t work. Did I forget to mention that there are attempts at comedy? This is one of those flicks that tries to mix genres and fails to successfully pull it off. The lead investigator, Sir John of Scotland Yard, eventually shows up and bumbles around before accidentally stumbling onto what is happening due to the efforts of his helpful assistant Miss Finley. Before Sir John the movie isn’t serious but also doesn’t try to be slapstick. We also get the comic relief from the local Innkeeper who was formerly lady of the castle before selling it. Again, none of these attempts at humor worked for me and didn’t feel like they fit with the rest of the flick.

If this is the best of the Edgar Wallace adaptations, then I’m thinking that these movies just aren’t for me. I know that they have a rabid fanbase and if you are one of those folks then more power to you. I like a lot of stuff that other people hate on, so I get it. Sadly, I can’t recommend anyone waste their time on The Monster of Blackwood Castle.

 

© Copyright 2024 John Shatzer

Kill Them All and Come Back Alone (1968)

Time for even more fun as I check out this Chuck Conners flick. Conners plays Clyde McKay who is leading a gang of misfits. When we first see them, they are attacking a Confederate army camp (this movie is set during the Civil War). But that turns out to be a test of their abilities as it is the Confederates who sent McKay off looking for the gang members with the idea of hiring them. The real target is a guarded stash of Union gold. Before they set off McKay is given one final instruction. To kill the rest of the gang after the gold is stolen so that there is no way to trace the crime back to the Confederate army. Why are they worried about this? Well, there is a very good reason, but one I won’t spoil here.

Kill Them All and Come Back Alone is a mixed bag for me. On one hand I really did like the story. It is part western and part heist movie. There are a lot of moving parts that reminded me of Ocean’s Eleven, the Sinatra flick not the Clooney remake. The plan involving a bar fight and sneaking into a secure fort by hiding in the water wagon is clever. They also think out that part of the movie well. Not all these westerns take the time to make sure that the plot is as solid as it is here. So, I appreciated that.

The characters are also a lot of fun, though in a very basic way. Conners’ character is the only one that really stands out as the rest are reduced to strong guy, knife guy, explosives guy, weird gun guy, and of course stab you in the back guy. They characters are less personality and more gimmick, but I’m okay with this. The movie is more focused on the action sequences then it cares about character development. Considering the movie was directed by Enzo Castellari that isn’t a surprise.

Where the movie loses me a bit is with the pacing and ending. There are portions of the movie that feel forced as if the filmmakers felt the need to pad things out. The bit with them “auditioning” before the actual heist takes time to establish a couple of characters, only one of which appears again after the first ten minutes. Then you get a bit of the traveling and getting to know them before they get to work. Again, even with this the characters are more or less reduced to their archetypes, so this all feels like a waste. I was also looking forward to what appeared to be another “no one wins” endings like we get in El Condor, but they do a switcheroo and give a happier ending. If you are happy about murdering bad guys making off with lots of gold that is.

There is a lot to dig here, but it is tempered with some slow spots. Kill Them All and Come Back Alone isn’t the first movie from the Spaghetti western subgenre that I would point folks to, but for the well versed looking for something different it is worth a look. It’s a flawed movie but not terrible.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

A Pistol for Ringo (1965)

Ringo has just been released from jail after being acquitted of murdering a member of the Benson family. When the sheriff hears this, and that the Benson’s have ridden out looking for him he takes off to try and prevent something bad happening. It seems that Ringo is handy with a gun and not too picky about shooting folks who threaten him. The sheriff is late and by the time he arrives Ringo has already killed the four men in self-defense. Still, he arrests him and tosses him in jail.

Ringo is still there when bandits roll into town and rob the bank while gunning lots of folks down. A posse sets off after them and the bandits end up surrounded at a fancy ranch between town and the Mexican border. One of the hostages is the sheriff’s fiancé, Miss Ruby. They surround the place, and the army is called for, but the sheriff knows that all the hostages will likely die so he hatches a plan. Send Ringo in to win the bandit’s trust and free the prisoners before the cavalry arrives. In exchange he will get thirty percent of the stolen money. The rest of the movie is Ringo playing the bandit leader, Sancho, manipulating him into what they hope is a fatal ambush.

This movie is a blast. It starts off with a gunfight before we even know what the heck is going on. Once Ringo and the bandit gang are established there is another huge gunfight with them robbing the bank and shooting up the town/locals. Then it switches gears a bit and we are treated to some excellent twists and turns and there are double, triple, and quadruple crosses! Sancho isn’t as clueless as we are led to believe… but then maybe Ringo knew that. This is that kind of movie and it is a lot of fun to watch. I’ll not go into more detail so I don’t spoil anything.

Giuliano Gemma is great as Ringo. He pulls of the sort of nice guy who will kill you if you cross him but would rather crack a joke unless he decides you are a danger to him then you die. It is a complicated character, sort of the murderous rogue. This sort of antihero is why I love Spaghetti westerns so much. We also get good performance from Fernando Sancho as the bandit leader Sancho. I remember him fondly from Minnesota Clay, another great Spaghetti western, and he is just as good here. There are also good performances from Nieves Navarro (Death Walks on High Heels, The Big Gundown, and several Emanuelle flicks) and Lorella De Luca (The Bloodstained Butterfly). Anytime I see some lovely ladies from Gialli I’ve watched it makes me happy.

The action sequences are executed nicely with lots of gun play, some stabbings, and fists are thrown around. They are spread evenly throughout the duration and are easy to follow who is who. We also get some decent explosions, and the sets are rather extensive. This looks like an expensive movie with a good budget. Toss in an excellent soundtrack from the legendary Ennio Morricone and you have a badass movie. I can’t believe that I hadn’t watched this until now, but it won’t be a one off. There isn’t a single bad thing I can say about the movie. I recommend you guys checking out A Pistol for Ringo.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

4 Dollars of Revenge (1966)

Bandits ambush a shipment of captured Confederate silver that is headed to Washington to be turned over to the government. This is during the Civil War, and it is a big deal. The escort is lead by Captain Dexter who ends up being the only survivor after being left for dead by the thieves. This was his last assignment as he was about to resign his commission to run for governor. After being nursed back to health he is eventually charged with planning the robbery and causing the death of the men under his command.

Convicted he is sent to prison and after what I believe is supposed to be a couple of years is almost killed. Knowing that someone is trying to murder him he makes his escape and goes looking for the men trying to kill him as well as those who framed him! The rest of the movie is Dexter backtracking from one suspect to the other until all those responsible for the crime and framing him.

I liked 4 Dollars of Revenge. While not one of the “A” list Spaghetti Westerns it does check enough boxes that it was a fun watch. I loved the mechanic of him having four silver dollars from the supposed crime being given to him by the court so that he will never forget his crime. This leads him to leaving one with each of the bodies after he exacts his revenge along the way. That is a neat plot device and obviously inspired the title. Yeah, it might seem improbable that he would have been allowed to hang onto the valuable coins while in prison, but this is a movie and I’m willing to suspend my disbelief.

The movie is paced decently and quickly establishes that Dexter is a good man surrounded by snakes who are out to get him. We are given plenty of suspects who have motive to get him out of the way. He has a political rival, a relative who is always hitting him up for money, and even a rival for the love of a beautiful woman. So many folks would like him gone. Without giving anything away I will say that I enjoyed how the story plays out. The who and why of the setup gives way to plenty of revenge and action. That is what I want in a western and I got plenty of it.

That said the shootouts and many fistfights are staged well and exciting. People are flying all over the screen and much blood is spilled. We even get a nifty saber fight that you don’t normally get is a flick like this. There is some fancy gunplay, and I was amused by how many shots Dexter can manage before reloading. Yeah, it is one of those magic gun westerns. But again, when I’m enjoying a movie, I don’t have time to get picky about the details.

I don’t want to oversell 4 Dollars of Revenge. It isn’t top notch but sometimes you can have a by the numbers genre flick that is worth a watch. If you are looking for something familiar but don’t want to pop in the same Eastwood or Van Cleef flick, then this one might be for you. If you are new to the Spaghetti Western, then there are much better places to start than here. That said as a fan of these flicks I got some enjoyment out of this one.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965)

The movie opens with some scientists tracking what they initially think is a meteor about to crash into the countryside near London. But then it starts to slow down, and they quickly figure out that it is being controlled by something. Then we get a groovy sixties theme song over the opening credits before rejoining the scientists at an army roadblock. Dr. Morley and Dr. Costain go to see the man in charge as they have the clearance to work on top secret stuff. Instead of a ship they find a small sphere that is brought back to the lab for study. Weird stuff starts to happen and poor Dr. Morley is killed when something materializes and kills him before taking off with the object making good it’s escape in a stolen car.

Then the action moves to later. How much later? I don’t have a clue. But the army guys are gone and Dr. Costain is now in the offices of Scotland Yard talking to an inspector about missing women. Somehow, it isn’t ever explained, he has figured out that whatever came out of the sphere is now posting ads in Bikini Girl Magazine and kidnapping or killing the ladies that respond to it. Why? It is only hinted at but basically the alien is planning on bringing them back home to one of the moons of Jupiter so they can breed. I guess Jupiter’s moon needs women! Some murders happen, shenanigans ensue, and the alien gets away with his hostages. I mean he insists they won’t be hurt. Though being forced to bear the children of an alien race doesn’t seem pleasant. But hey it was the sixties so what do I know?

This is an odd movie. Other than the obvious logical loopholes like how did Dr. Costain make the connection to the missing girls and the visitor from outer space, which is the most blatant but not the only head scratcher, Blood Beast from Outer Space is sort of boring. It kicks off with the mystery and some action but then abruptly jumps to some time later. It feels like something is missing from the story. This was based on a book so I’m thinking maybe there was more to it but that the movie couldn’t squeeze it into the standard ninety minute runtime. It was at that jump where the movie lost me. It also doesn’t help that we go from science, monsters, and creepy spheres to the police interviewing quirky characters while trying to solve the mystery of Medra. Which is the name that the alien uses on Earth. There are also thrilling phone calls, people typing, and ladies going to bed. Meh.

Doing science stuff!

I hadn’t heard of this movie before so it must not have played on my local horror hosted shows. What caught my attention was the fact that the late great John Saxon stars as Dr. Costain. I’m always down to watch him. He is good but sadly there is absolutely nothing here for him to work with. There is also a twenty minute stretch where he completely disappears from the story which is also where Blood Beast is at it’s slowest. No surprise there.

The lack of creature is also a disappointment. Medra is mostly in the shadows and except for the very end where we see one tiny bit of rubber on his face the only creature effect we see is his one messed up hand. I get the feeling that this was a super low budget affair, but couldn’t they have spent a bit more on the monster?

With a story that is hard to follow, a creature that never pays off, and the wasting of John Saxon I can’t recommend Blood Beast from Outer Space. It is an uneven and at times annoying watch which I simply can’t recommend.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Blood Bath (1966)

It has been a while since I’ve watched Blood Bath, but I remember thinking it was okay. This played on my local horror hosted shows in the seventies long before the fact it was co-directed by Jack Hill and produced by Roger Corman would have meant anything to me. Since I’m digging for some stuff to review in this years Halloween marathon it seemed like a good fit. 

The movie opens with a man talking to the painting of a woman. He is clearly not wrapped all that tightly. He begs for her to return to him and then the credits roll. Post opening credits we watch as another man stalks and kills a woman. We see his face and he has fangs so I suppose he must be a vampire. Then we see some annoying beatniks talking about their art. Here I was finally interested when I noticed frequent Corman collaborator Jonathon Haze as well as Sid Haig in small roles. Haig showed up in quite a few Jack Hill flicks so we have that connection as well. The beatniks are upset that their art doesn’t sell but folks are flocking in to buy the work of another artist, Sordi. His stuff is all about death. 

Here is when shit gets a bit weird. Sordi, played by another familiar face William Campbell, is a painter. In a bit of dialogue we find out that he is the ancestor of another painter who was killed, and his art destroyed. That picture from before is one of his paintings and somehow haunts Sordi. He paints and then kills ladies before tossing them into a vat of wax. Why does he do that when he is a painter? Not sure. The vampire is his ancestor who seems to come and go on his own. Initially I thought Sordi transformed into him but that never is explained. All I do know is that in the big finale all his previous victims in covered in wax come back to life and kill him. Wait… what the hell!

I have no idea what I was thinking or why I thought I liked Blood Bath. This movie is an absolute mess, but I guess it sort of makes some sense. Fans always want to act like Jack Hill and Roger Corman could do no wrong or at least they only talk about the good movies that they made. But both men were also not above making “product” for the drive-in market. Not worried so much about the quality and more about getting to that magical hour long runtime the second and third feature on a double/triple bill needed. If you could use footage from an earlier movie and cut some corners, then that was all the better. 

What we have here is a happy coincidence of actor William Campbell being available on the cheap and some footage to cut costs. When Corman was stuck with a movie he made in Yugoslavia named Operation Titian, a crime thriller with no supernatural elements, he reused some of the footage for this movie. That flick also starred William Campbell so they shot a few extra scenes with an American Cast, added in the beatniks and had another actor play a vampire. They stuck all they had together to hit that magical sixty two minute mark and viola you have a movie. 

Sadly, none of the footage works together and it feels like something that was assembled from ill-fitting pieces. I don’t want to act like this is padded out because I thought the stuff from Operation Titian looks cool (I will have to track that flick down someday to watch it) and the additional stuff with the beatniks has a fun Walter Paisley vibe to it. For those not in the know that last bit is referencing A Bucket of Blood from nineteen fifty nine which was another artist as a killer flick made by Corman. Plus, this is where we get to see Sid Haig, who has an actual role with dialogue! I would have loved to see an entire movie about those characters. The vampire stuff was lame though. Really this feels like three movies fighting against each other for my attention. 

Sometimes it was about the bottom line and not making a good movie for Roger Corman. Blood Bath is product meant to recoup some money from a failed project that initially couldn’t get much play. Knowing his ingenuity and reputation for making a profit I’m sure it worked. But as far as a movie this one isn’t worth your time.  

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Mark of the Dead Man (1961)

It has been a while since I checked out a Mexican Horror flick. Most folks immediately think a Santo or other masked wrestler flick when I say this and rightfully so. But there was also a tradition in the fifties and sixties to do more classic movies with vampires, ghosts, and in this case mad scientists. Mark of the Dead Man was a new to me, so I was excited to check it out. 

Dr. Malthus is a bad man. We know this because we watch as he stalks and kidnaps a woman apparently to drain her of blood for his evil experiments. We find out that he has lived for more than a century because of his mad scientist activities. Though this time the police stop him from finishing. That means even before he is executed he starts to show his age. He is eventually hanged and that is the end of the story, or is it?

I mean since that all happens in the first ten or so minutes obviously not. The movie then moves from the eighteen nineties to the nineteen sixties with all of it’s groovy music and fashions. There is a new Dr. Malthus who looks just like the old one. But it is a descendant of the evil fellow from earlier and not the same man. Though he does find his ancestor’s journal and digs him up to see if he can be revived. Sure enough with the “help” of a kidnapped maid the original Dr. Malthus is up and running his experiments again. This leads to more kidnappings, blood draining, and other such things. Though this all comes to a head when the new doctor stops the old doctor with fiery results. I mean all good mad scientist flicks need to end with the lab being destroyed by fire!

I sort of liked this movie. The pacing is quick, and the movie never lingers enough to notice the low budget or derivative storyline. Instead, something is always happening and while familiar it still entertained me. The movie has an odd mashup of creepy gothic vibe with the dark old house and laboratory while also feeling very much a product of the sixties with the clothing and groovy dancing/music. The story itself is a fun combination of mad scientist narrative with a bit of vampire (the doctor uses the blood of the young for his immortality) tossed in for fun. While I don’t feel the need to watch Mark of the Dead Man again it was still an amusing way to kill a hour and fifteen minutes. I mean I’ve seen a lot worse than this. 

The special effects are super simple. From the obvious bat on a wire gag to the rubber mask used to age the doctor when his formula starts to wear off we have seen this all done before. But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel and on their budget I thought it was solid work. The lab set is also simple but effective. I did notice that the machinery looked familiar and with a bit of digging looks like it was reused later in the decade for the miserable and much less enjoyable Madame Death which I’ve also covered for the site. Glad to see them getting their money out of the props. 

You can find this movie floating around the internet as I believe like many other Mexican productions has hit public domain. Be warned though that schlockmeister Jerry Warren got his hands on this and released it in sixty-four as Creature of the Walking Dead. His added footage and dubbing killed all the things I like about it. The titles are interchangeable so if you hear English dialogue stop right away. You are watching the wrong one. Here subtitles are your friend. 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Six She’s and a He (1963)

I was in the mood for something weird so when I dug thru my to watch pile and found Six She’s and a He from Something Weird Video I thought to myself, ‘this seems like a good choice.’ See what I did there? For the uniformed the previously mentioned company is best known for saving and releasing oddball and sometimes thought lost regional low budget cheapie drive-in flicks. But was this one worth the effort? Lets check it out and see.

A voiceover tells us that the man floating along in a raft is a bomber pilot from World War II. This is immediately after us hearing voices talking about a rocket launch over some stock footage of the space program. Um okay movie this isn’t a good start. The astronaut/bomber pilot, Fred, lands on a beach and is rescued by six lovely ladies in bikinis. After reviving him with some water they show a severed head on a stick and tell him that he is now their slave. This is because they are the Love Goddesses which explains the excruciatingly bad song of the same name that they keep playing.

The rest of the movie follows a pattern. Fred has to “service” the ladies at night and then is hooked to a plow or forced to mow the grass (with a scythe no less!) during the day. This “torture” is almost unbearable. Mixed in is a flashback where we see them kill a Nazi… okay so it is World War II. Luckily one of the ladies, Desiree, offers to help him escape if he will take her with him. Seems she isn’t a fan of the island and the Love Goddess gig at all. He agrees and they execute the worst escape plan since… well maybe ever! The lifeboat goes back in the ocean and with some more stock footage and voiceover work Fred is back to being an astronaut in the sixties. Well shit…

In the sixties there was a trend from regional filmmakers when they made content for the drive-in circuit. Since they didn’t have the budget, crew, gear, and in many cases the talent to compete with Hollywood they had to find another way to get the audience to show up. The easiest way to accomplish that was to titillate the audience with things that they weren’t getting elsewhere. That is exactly what Six She’s and a He is trying to do. While we don’t get any nudity, it was the early sixties and Florida was still a bit restrictive as to what you could get away with, there are a lot of lovely ladies dancing around in bikinis. In fact, that is most of the story if you can even call it a story. The pattern is some day labor with a bit of dialogue followed by a lady in a bikini dancing in a pool waiting for Fred to “take care of business”.

That is the plot in it’s entirety. This is repeated four times before Fred is strapped to a pole and cut/beat until the ladies close their eyes and hum/moan. It is at this point Desiree cuts him loose and they make a break for it. Why does this work? How come none of them notice this? Has anything I’ve mentioned so far make you think they are going to take the time to explain? There is a girl fight and then they leave on the lifeboat. There is really zero story here. The script is from actor William Kerwin who appeared in several movies from directors H.G. Lewis and William Grefe who shot a lot in Florida. This is his first writing credit, and I can confirm he doesn’t get better with practice.

There are a few attempts at gore with the severed head and an extended sequence where the Nazi is stabbed and his guts are pulled out. I imagine that this was horrifying for an early sixties audience so that had to be effective. This is another example of indie filmmakers giving the paying customer something Hollywood wouldn’t or couldn’t. While the gore is still fun it is far too brief to make this movie worth a watch. The ladies and implied naughty activities haven’t aged well and while they may have shocked when new it has gotten tedious. Though to be fair to all involved in the making of Six She’s and a He I don’t think they were trying to make art or expected the movie to still be around. This was a quickie shot on the cheap cash in to play as the second or third feature at the local passion pit aka. drive-in. Again, I can’t recommend this one, but it is an interesting bit of cinematic history.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

La Loba aka. The She Wolf (1965)

I keep finding odd movies in my “to watch” pile and this is yet another of them. It turns out that this is a Mexican made horror flick about a lady werewolf. It was made during the Santo and other wrestlers vs. monster fad that lasted until the early eighties, but there isn’t a luchador to be seen in this bad boy. What do we get? Might as well pop it in and see.

The opening scene is very cool with the camera starting on a cross and pulling back to reveal a cemetery. A furry hand pushes back the stone from a tomb and a full on werewolf creature climbs out. We don’t see the face of the creature but do get to see it go on a rampage and murder three folks. This is all in the first ten minutes of the movie, which also has not a bit of dialogue but is just the creature moving around the woods jumping and slinking like an animal. Very cool stuff.

Then things go a bit of the rails. After the creature crawls back into the grave we see that it isn’t a grave at all but is a tunnel that leads to a nearby house. The werewolf is a woman named Clarissa and she is one of two daughters who live there with there mother and father, Professor Fernandez. Once the characters start speaking the movie grinds to a halt. Clarissa’s secret fiancé, Dr. Bernstein, shows up to ask her father for her hand in marriage. Here is where we realize that the professor knows what his daughter is. He is experimenting with freezing things in an effort to cure her affliction. They never explain how this will help, but it is what he is doing.

On the subject of not explaining things, we find out that Dr. Bernstein is also a werewolf. Did he infect her, or did she infect him? Don’t worry about that since we never find out. He wolfs out and goes into the woods to stalk a deaf girl. Then a man with a dog shows up and the dog damn near kills the werewolf. The man is a hunter who is looking for lycanthropes… the fancy name for werewolves. Is he tracking Bernstein or is it the girl? Don’t worry about that since we never find out. After more talking the pair of monsters are dispatched by the dog and an ivory knife. Why ivory? Do you really have to ask?

Clearly this movie isn’t very good. The plot is all over the place and never takes the time to explain the rules to these creatures. It also has characters appear and disappear for long stretches without explanation. It makes for a choppy and confusing watch. This is very disappointing because the first ten minutes with the lady werewolf running around was establishing an interesting and engaging story. Again, I remind you they did this without a line of dialogue. It seems that all their creativity must have been expended in this brief opening bit because it is all downhill from there.

Much like the plot the movie teases the audience with the appearance of the first werewolf. Initially seen only from the back the actor appears to be wearing a body suit with some fur on it and amusingly a large tail. That is a first for me I think. The way that they move around the woods and stalk the victims as well as the way the attacks are staged really sell the creature and how animalistic it is. But eventually we get to see her face and realize that it is nothing more than the actress with some whiskers and pointy teeth. It looks downright silly. The male werewolf is running around with some fur pasted to the actor’s chest while still wearing his suit pants. So not much to speak about there. Again, I wish they had carried the early creativity throughout the entire movie because they were onto something. We also get a couple old school transformation scenes that I’ll admit worked well enough.

La Loba is an interesting movie that as a nerd for Mexican horror I’m glad to have checked out. But unless you have the same need to watch all examples of a subgenre, I don’t think that this flick has much to offer. I know that I’ll never need to check it out again. I suppose you can consider this a non-recommendation.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

The Horror of it All (1964)

I find some weird shit. Though this one threw me for a loop. The Horror of it All is a mid-sixties horror comedy directed by Terrence Fisher who was responsible for some of my favorite Hammer Horror flicks. That got my attention for sure. But when you add in that it stars American actor/singer Pat Boone… well my mind was blown. How had I never heard of this one before? Stick with me and you will find out.

Jack, Boone’s character, is driving thru the English countryside when his car breaks down. He starts to push it, but it gets away from him and rolls down a hill. He eventually gets to a house and when he knocks on the door a gunshot rings out. Interested yet? It turns out the house is the home to the Marley family. His fiancé Cynthia is a Marley and Jack has surprised her by coming to visit. He is there to ask her uncle for permission to marry her. Here is where shenanigans ensue.

The family is filled with oddball characters including an overly dramatic actor, a crazy uncle that is kept locked up, a cousin who thinks she is a vampire and is giving off a definite Barbara Steele vibe, as well as many more. There is also a dead cousin, Creighton, which is important since he is only the first of many to come. Someone is killing off the members of the Marley family, but why? Maybe the million dollar inheritance might have something to do with it. There are some twists and turns as attempts are made to kill Jack as well with all sorts of complicated plots. Eventually we figure out the who and the why, but did I care?

The answer to that final question is no. Be warned that my review is going to contain some spoilers as they are unavoidable. I don’t feel too bad since I don’t think anyone should waste their time on The Horror of it All. There are many issues with this movie. The first is the pacing. We get long stretches with not much happening. They do try and drop some gags in for a few laughs which leads to the second issue.

I don’t find Boone to be particularly funny. He isn’t suited to the sort of slapstick that passes for jokes here. There are falls, tarantulas, a collapsing ceiling, and a weird “horseless carriage”. Maybe a more gifted physical comedian could have sold these, but that simply isn’t what Boone is good at. What he is good at is singing so we get an obligatory musical number where he sings the theme song of the movie in the movie. This certainly doesn’t help the pacing problems.

Look kids its bootleg Barbara Steele!

I was also annoyed with the ending. We get this weird bit where it turns out that Cynthia is the killer. She wanted the family’s money so planned to kill off everyone to get it. But since Jack showed up she decided that he had to die as well. Why? Reasons, I guess… It comes to a head when she pulls a gun on him, and they struggle over it. A shot rings out and then Jack wakes up in the hospital. But then the doctor tries to kill him with a shot and Cynthia runs in to save the day. It turns out the doctor was one of the family members who we saw murdered but wasn’t actually dead. Wait… what? Don’t overthink it guys. This is then our happy ending as Cynthia and Jack get married.

I know now why I’ve never heard of this movie. It is bad, really bad. It apparently flopped on release and failed to find an audience in later years. As interesting as the idea of Pat Boone in a movie like this is the payoff is far too little to recommend that anyone invest seventy five minutes of their life watching The Horror of it All. You want a movie like this then check out the William Castle remake of The Old Dark House with Tom Poston. That isn’t a perfect movie either, but it is way more fun than this turkey. I also just now realized that movie came out the year before this one. I wonder if they were trying to cash in on it?

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

The Immortal (1969)

Jordan Braddock is a very sick and very wealthy man. We know this because when we first meet him he is flying on his private jet which crashes complicating his medical issues. While in the hospital on his death bed he is given a transfusion of blood from a man named Ben. He works for Braddock’s company in some sort of car racing or testing capacity. The blood works miracles… literally. Eventually the doctors figure out that Ben’s blood has amazing properties that heal and even make people younger. The catch is that it is only temporary.

Being a good guy Ben takes the opportunity to try and help everyone by allowing them to run tests and experiment. But Braddock is worried that if he dies in his dangerous job this fountain of youth will be lost to him. So doing what rich guys do he kidnaps him and locks him up. Though a mysterious benefactor, Braddock’s young wife who wants to inherit his money, helps him break out. This leads to Ben realizing that he has to go on the run looking for his long-lost brother who may also have the same blood and could be in danger. The end… not really as this made for television movie was a pilot for a series that lasted a year.

This is a solid bit of science fiction. We have a likeable main character in Ben whose first instinct is to use his gift to help the sick and is generally a good guy. Against him, at least in the movie, is Braddock as the greedy old man who wants to keep the benefits for himself and selfishly extend his own life. Is the rich old white guy as the villain overdone, maybe but it works here so who cares. What I find amusing is that when it went to series they couldn’t get the actor from the movie they just had another rich old white guy chasing him and say Braddock died. Completely interchangeable but again I’m okay with that. Or at least I think I am as I’ve never actually found the show. It seems to be hard to find.

The cast is filled with familiar faces including Christopher George, who most of us know from either Grizzly or Pieces but was in a bunch of great genre flicks and died way too young. Here he is cast as Ben and makes a wonderful protagonist. He is an underrated actor that certainly had the charisma to carry a show or movie by himself. Though he doesn’t have to as he is surrounded by the likes of Ralph Bellamy (Trading Places), Carol Lynley (The Night Stalker), and a very young Jessica Walter (Arrested Development). You may not recognize all the names but trust me you will know the faces.

If I had one bad thing to say about The Immortal is that it very much feels like a pilot for a series and doesn’t have an ending but rather is left open for the series that followed. Like I’ve already mentioned I haven’t seen the series and it may not be good, though I’ve heard positive things about it. But as a standalone movie even without a solid resolution to the story I still think that it is interesting enough to invest seventy minutes into checking it out. You can find it on the internet in a couple different spots so get to Googling it and give this one a chance.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Day of the Nightmare (1965)

Well now this is a movie… Recently I acquired a pile of Something Weird Video discs filled with oddball flicks. One of those was Day of the Nightmare. I figured it was about time to check them out and since this one was sitting on the top of the pile into the old DVD player it went. Yep, that is how I picked this one first.

Jonathon Crane is a painter who is using a Go Go dancer as a model. She boogies around topless before trying to seduce him. He isn’t into it because he is married but she keeps trying and eventually he ties her up and spanks her. Then there is a flashback that doesn’t make sense later, but I’ll get to that. In this flashback we hear a monologue of the time that this girl tried to kill his wife. We watch that “girl” get on a bus and sneak up on Jonathon’s wife while she is unloading groceries. Only it is painfully obvious that the “girl” in question is the actor in drag. Turns out he has mommy issues and maybe daddy issues which resulted in him having a psychotic break and developing a girlfriend that is actually him who tries to kill his wife. Um… okay.

Along the way we also get to see a swinger’s party, some lesbians making out in front of Jonathon for money, and lots of naked sixties ladies. This is all before he is eventually tracked down by a detective, played by John Ireland (what the Hell is he doing in this low budget sleaze fest?) and run over by a boat. How was this a flashback when he is telling the story to it’s bitter end which shows us his dead body floating in the ocean?

Yeah, this flick isn’t so much about the plot my friends. That is also why I mentioned the sleazy things above as Day of the Nightmare hangs it’s hat on shocking the audience with all the naughty stuff you normally wouldn’t see in a movie. At least in the sixties when this bad boy was made. It was a low budget movie that I’m certain was sold on the previously mentioned naughty stuff as well as having the main character a man dressed as a woman. In addition to not making a lick of sense the movie also has serious pacing issues. There are long stretches where not much happens and is a chore to get thru. Did it really need to be ninety plus minutes long? The answer is no.

The pacing issues aren’t helped by some things, like the swinger’s party, clearly being shoehorned in for shock value. This might have worked a bit when it first hit the drive-in circuit (trust me this didn’t play in “polite” theaters but likely fit into the passion pits of the Midwest) but in today’s “smut at your fingertips” internet world it falls flat. This is apparently the only credit for the director as well as most of the cast. It screams of a low budget exploitation flick that probably made the producers their money back. The only real mystery here is how the hell John Ireland signed on to make this? Then again, he isn’t on screen for most of the sleazy stuff so maybe he had no idea what he was appearing in. And I guess a paycheck is a paycheck.

Day of the Nightmare is a terrible movie that probably should have been left unfound and unsaved. But it is out there so if you trip over a copy my recommendation is keep on going right past it and save the ninety minutes of your life that you can never get back.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Mysterious Island (1961)

Set at the end of the Civil War we watch as some Union prisoners break out of a Confederate prison and make their escape in a balloon. This all happens while a huge storm is blowing in and it carries them all the way across the country. When things finally calm they find themselves far out over the Pacific Ocean. The balloon crashes near an island and after swimming to shore they realize that they are now marooned there. After some exploration they discover survivors from a shipwreck, which introduces our ladies and their love interests. They go about setting up house and trying to survive.

This is complicated by the presence of oversized animals like giant crabs, chickens, and bees. But why are these things so huge? It turns out that Captain Nemo has been experimenting with gigantism to solve the world’s hunger issues. Yes, that Nemo of the Nautilus! For a while he quietly helps the survivors while staying hidden. But when some pirates show up and start blasting away with their cannons, he reveals himself. But it isn’t just the pirates that are a threat as the volcano on the island is about to erupt so they all need to make their escape. Sadly the Nautilus was damaged and can’t go back to sea, but he has a plan. This leads to the finale as they race against time to repair the now sunken pirate ship so they can sail away to safety.

This is a personal favorite of mine. I’ve been watching it since I was a kid as this was always playing on Saturday afternoons or during the summer. This is one of the first adventure movies that I can remember and along with Journey to the Center of the Earth was responsible for my lifelong love of everything Jules Verne. The movie itself holds up pretty well for being over sixty years old. The story is paced quickly and spaces out the good stuff evenly. We get an exciting prison break followed by the tumultuous balloon ride. When they land there is a big fight with a giant crab, some ladies washing up on shore, and then a giant chicken and bees. Hell, we even get some pirates attacking!

Sure, this is probably a bit hokey but imagine a young boy watching this. It checks all the boxes that a seven or eight year old me wanted to see. While I admit that nostalgia might be a big part of my love for Mysterious Island, I still think that it is fun. There is nothing wrong with a simple old school adventure story and this is certainly that.

If that doesn’t make you want to watch this one then how about some awesome stop motion effects work from the master Ray Harryhausen? As I’ve already mentioned we get a giant crab, chicken, and some bees all of which are brought to life with the magic of stop motion and composite shots. I especially loved the first gag with the crab. It turns out that instead of building the model from scratch with clay Harryhausen deviated from his normal process and built his armature inside and actual crab shell! I thought that was cool, so I had to mention it. Damn I almost forgot the giant octopus! Can’t have a Captain Nemo story without a giant octopus.

There are also some green screen shots with the balloon that were shot on a soundstage as well as some cool composite shots of them working underwater. There is even a model ruined city that I think was done just to show it tumbling down when the volcano erupts. I appreciate that. Toss in some neat sets with the interior of the Nautilus as well as the model work of the sunken pirate ship and you have more than enough cool visuals to keep anyone entertained.

In case it isn’t clear yet let me just come out and tell you that I love this movie. I could keep going on, but I think that I’ve made my point. I highly recommend everyone go look for a copy of Mysterious Island. As of the writing of this review the movie can be found on Amazon Prime as well as YouTube. It is well worth the three or four dollar rental.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Even the Wind is Afraid (1968)

A girl wakes up and finds a woman hanging above her bed. I mean like hanging from the neck. She screams and we see that it was a nightmare. The next scene has a doctor and a teacher, Lucia, talking about her condition. The headmistress later states that Claudia, the girl with the nightmare, will not get special treatment and must attend classes. Well, she isn’t a nice lady, I’m sure that won’t be important later. Spoilers… it will be!

Later Claudia and her friends find the forbidden tower door unlocked. They know that they shouldn’t go inside, but Claudia recognizes it from her nightmare and decides to investigate and her friends don’t let her go alone. They get caught and the headmistress decides that their punishment is to spend vacation on campus and attending special classes. Yep, she is a real peach. That means they are on campus all alone when spooky stuff starts to happen.

The nightmare and the hanging girl are tied to the death of a former student five years earlier. Seems that the headmistress was mean to her as well. It all leads up to a rather shocking twist that is compounded by yet another one. Though in the end I suppose it can be considered a happy resolution, unless you were a fan of the headmistress that is!

Captain Kangaroo uniforms!

I can’t say much about Even the Wind is Afraid without some spoilers. If you don’t like that sort of thing, you can stop reading right now and skip to the last paragraph for my conclusions. Okay with that out of the way lets get to the good stuff. The movie is very interesting but does cover familiar ground. You have normal haunting tropes like the doors that open themselves, the storm that blows in every night, folks sneaking around in the dark, a jump scare with a cat, and of course the classic face at the window. The execution of these gags is decent, though I never found them scary but maybe just creepy. Still the movie does build some atmosphere and checked enough boxes that I was happy with it.

Where the movie excels is in the way it is plotted out. Our lead character is Claudia so when she dies with a half hour left to go, I was shocked. Her body is laid out in the church and the headmistress seems genuinely distressed by the turn of events and questions her actions. Though when Claudia miraculously wakes up she does go right back to being unpleasant. Yeah, Claudia isn’t dead after all… or is she? The movie establishes that her behavior has changed and using discussions about the dead girl from earlier it is clear who really came back. If you guessed that the big twist is the ghost coming back in her body to get some revenge, then you are correct. I honestly didn’t see this twist coming and I really dug it.

Muy Spooky!

A couple more things that I liked were the music and lighting. We do get some odd sixties music along with dancing that didn’t seem to fit, but when it is trying to be spooky the music kicks up the tension a notch. I also loved how well the movie is shot with the shadows playing out on the background. We also get a couple neat reveals as shadows on the wall that I thought were fun. Other than a stretch in the middle with the unsupervised girl shenanigans that felt a lot like padding the pacing is mostly good.

All in all, Even the Wind is Afraid was a pleasant watch and one that I can recommend. I had never heard of this movie before. I’m guessing that is because it is a Mexican production and if the subtitles (which feel like a fan project) are any indication it hasn’t been released officially in English. It can be difficult to find a copy, but if you can I think it is worth the effort. I did hear that there is a dubbed version in English, but I can’t speak to it’s quality as I couldn’t find it myself.

Note: I found it on TUBI but there are no subtitles, so I hope you speak Spanish.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Madame Death (1969)

Dr. Favel is a mad scientist conducting experiments that involve the deaths of young women. We know this because the “star” John Carradine, who plays Dr. Favel, has a monologue before the action starts. Yep, he is talking right to the audience.

When the movie starts we are introduced to Marlene who is married to a man that can’t stop talking about death. In fact, they are rolling around in bed and he is still all mopey about his impending doom. Brother that is a pretty lady right there, get your head in the game! Anyhow he has some sort of episode, and he tells her to call Dr. Favel. She doesn’t want to because the doctor has been dismissed due to his theories and actions. But he insists so she does. Then we see them in the laboratory with Dr. Favel and his hunchbacked assistant (not much of one but it is there depending on the scene). He announces a terminal cancer diagnosis and offers a special treatment that immediately kills the husband.

But lucky for Marlene he offers to bring him back to life if she gives him all of her blood. So the next night she tries to do just that, but it fails and she is horribly scarred. But then the doctor tells her he can fix that and cure her husband being dead if she brings him the blood of other young women. Okay Marlene should have figured by this point that he was a bad doctor, but instead she starts to kill folks and drain their blood. For some reason this also temporarily cures her scars. I mean she doesn’t take a shot or have some formula from the doctor… it just happens. Eventually the police figure it out, she runs back to the lab, the doctor reveals that it was his plan all along for her to get sick and die so he could do another experiment. And the hunchback blows the lab up. The end.

This movie makes no sense. The story is a muddled mess that has no logical plot at all. Why does killing make her scars go away? Why does she keep trusting the doctor after he repeatedly screws up? How does she go from nice to murderous monster in a hot minute? Toss in odd choices like her just showing up at wax museum to throw acid on a guy so she can then lure her actual victim there for what seems to be the sole purpose of guillotining her after draining her of blood! That seems overly complicated and pointless. But that is pretty much how I’d describe the plot of Madame Death, so I suppose that makes some sense.

The “star” John Carradine is barely in the movie. They must have only had him a day because all his scenes are on the same set with just three of the other characters. This is an early example of what I like to call “stunt casting”. Basically putting someone in the movie so you can feature them on the poster when they have hardly anything to do with the proceedings. Being a production in Mexico featuring a cast entirely of Spanish speaking stars I’m guessing this was done to sell it to an American audience. Not a bad business idea but it doesn’t help the movie as entertainment.

I did like a few things about the movie. The soundtrack has a groovy late sixties vibe. The makeup when Marlene “monsters” out is a very simple appliance, but it looks decent and gets the job done. We also get a mad scientist lab done on a budget that looks cool. But other than these I can’t find a lot of positives about Madame Death. I had some hope for the movie as I’ve seen a lot of great Mexican horror from the fifties and sixties but this one isn’t among them. I can’t recommend it.

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer

Island of the Burning Damned (aka. Night of the Big Heat) (1967)

It is winter in England… well except if you live on the small island of Fara. There the temperature has hit the high nineties with so stop in sight. To that end we meet the locals. Jeff is a writer who also runs the local pub with his wife Frankie. There is also the island’s M.D. Dr. Stone and a cranky mysterious man named Hanson. As we see folks complaining about the heat Jeff’s new secretary Angela shows up to start her job. She wears a bikini, which is quite the thing. What is odd is that no one seems terribly concerned that the island is cooking while it is freezing right across on the mainland. We also know that everyone is aware of it because of radio reports.

What is up? Turns out that Hanson is a scientist that has come to investigate Fara. He has tried to convince the authorities that aliens have followed a radio signal back to the observatory and are testing Earth out for colonization. They apparently need things to be hot so cue the heat wave. Despite the obvious strange weather no one is coming to help them, so they must try and stop the invasion themselves. Nothing works and pretty much everyone is dead before the last three minutes happen. In those three minutes we hear thunder, it rains, and all the aliens die… probably because they cooled off. The end.

The Drama... The Scandal!

Island of the Burning Damned had all the ingredients for a cool movie. Isolated island setting, alien invasion, mysterious deaths, and a great cast, more on that later. So, what the hell happened? First up the story is painfully slow. We get so much walking around and people talking about the heat that there is never any momentum. We spend more time watching Hanson setup a camera trap then we do with them discussing the aliens! This is even worse with the introduction of a major subplot involving Jeff and his new secretary Angela. They had an affair in London, and she has pursued him to the island to try and continue things while he wants to leave peacefully with his wife. Sweet… forget the aliens I want the drama of an affair. Not really. The movie feels like they didn’t really have much of a plot and threw a bunch of random plotlines in to pad things out. I still can’t get over the abrupt and silly ending. I mean advanced spacefaring aliens didn’t know it was going to rain! Really?

I was especially disappointed with this because it wasted direction from Terence Fisher, and performances from both Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. That is some legendary British horror both in front of and behind the camera. All three are hamstrung with a script that goes nowhere and other characters that don’t deserve the screentime they get. I wanted more Lee and Cushing and less girl drama! Damn asshole script killed them off and left the girl alive… stupid movie.

Yinz gonna move... ever?

The aliens in this alien invasion movie are saved until the very end. For most of the movie they are a portrayed as a spotlight on the victim while a loud sound plays. When we do see them, they are at best a Horta (classic Trek reference… hope you get it) looking rubber blob that I don’t believe ever actually moves on camera. You know real scary stuff. Other than that we get nothing. Despite them telling us “something landed” we never see a ship or anything. Not even a crappy cardboard set! Very disappointing.

I can’t recommend spending your time on Island of the Burning Damned. It just isn’t a good movie. If you want to see a very similar and much better executed flick check out Island of Terror also starring Peter Cushing and directed by Terence Fisher. It is even from the same year!

 

© Copyright 2023 John Shatzer