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I thought I'd kick the new year off with another movie marathon. I thought it was time to check out a few old school mystery flicks. Som...

Friday, June 29, 2018

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

The Slasher marathon continues with Hide and Go Shriek. This movie is a long running joke between myself and Tim Gross from Gross Movie Reviews. Years ago, I asked him what VHS tape I should buy from the piles that he was selling at a Cinema Wasteland and he pulled this movie from the box and suggested it. I absolutely hated it and haven’t let him forget about it since. But it is a Slasher and I haven’t watched it yet for the Blog, so I guess I need to dive back in and check out the only horror movie I’ve ever seen set in a furniture store.

Things start of a guy shaving and putting on makeup. We don’t see his face, but clearly, he is being setup as our killer. He picks up a hooker and kills her. Now that we know something is up we are introduced to eight friends who have just graduated high school. They are headed off to the furniture store owned by one of their families to spend the night partying without interruption. Yeah, they are going to get interrupted by the killer for sure.

The kids run around the enormous store that looks more like a multilevel warehouse complete with freight elevator. They drink, get naked, do naughty stuff, and other things that normally get you killed off in a Slasher flick. After way too long, the killer starts to murder them in increasingly interesting ways. That isn’t meant as a compliment since the first couple of kills are sort of boring. More on that later. Eventually they figure out someone is killing their friends and think that it must be the creepy ex-con Fred. But is it? Come on he is such an obvious suspect that it can’t be… and isn’t.

Honestly this isn’t as bad as I thought it was the last time that I watched it. I just sat thru Humongous the night before watching Hide and Go Shriek. While I thought nothing happened in this movie and it was boring having Humongous fresh in my mind I realize that isn’t the case. It takes far too long for the kills to start in Hide and Go Shriek, but the last half hour of the movie is pretty entertaining. There is some stalking, the killer gets a couple funny moments taunting them into running around the store. The movie also gives us a lot of nudity and “frolicking” between the cast members before they meet their demise. There are some traditional Slasher movie tropes here to enjoy which is more than I can say about Humongous and Island of Blood, the last two flicks I watched for the Slasher marathon.

Watch the movie and you will understand this picture!
That said I have a couple of beefs with the movie. First is the fact that they broke the cardinal rule. Of all the Slasher movies that I’ve watched I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that leaves so many characters alive at the end. Of the eight kids that go into the store four of them live! That isn’t nearly the body count that I want in a movie like this. Trim the slow middle part of the movie and kill off another couple kids! The other issue is I don’t like the twist with the killer. Without spoilers the killer’s motivations are a bit wonky and dumb. I love how he is portrayed on screen, but wish they gave him better motivation for the killing.

Finally, we get to the gore. For most of the movie there really isn’t much. There is a stabbing, a mannequin arm thru the chest, and a spike tossing that all happen off screen with a bit of blood trickling out of the mouth. Being made in the late eighties I’m assuming they didn’t want to push their luck and get it cut anyway. But I still find this disappointing. But Hide and Go Shriek does have that one signature kill that they do a decent job with. Decapitation by elevator onscreen complete with a latex noggin’ rolling around. Now that was pretty cool.

I still don’t love Hide and Go Shriek, but it isn’t nearly as bad as I remember it. Then again, my opinion might be different because I subjected myself to so many terrible movies since watching this the first time. If you are looking to watch a Slasher movie and have seen most of the top tier flicks like Friday the 13th and the Burning then this one is maybe worth checking out. Not as good as those but worth a watch.  

© Copyright 2018 John Shatzer

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