Blood Fest (2018)

This was a blind buy for me. I saw the trailer for the movie, and it seemed like something that I wanted to check out and support with my $12.99 purchase. I’ve been disappointed by most of the new stuff that I’ve been watching, but you have to keep digging to find that hidden gem. Is Blood Fest one of those buried treasures? Time to find out.

The movie starts off with a mother and her young son watching scary movies. She goes to the kitchen and is attacked by a masked man. His father shows up just in time to save the boy, but not before he sees his mother dead on the floor. He also sees his father shoot and kill the intruder. Years later the boy, Dax, and his friends want to go to Blood Fest. This is the biggest horror movie festival going on and as a fan of those flicks Dax wants to go. His Dad is on a crusade against scary movies forbids him from attending. Guess what happens?

Yeah so Dax, his friends Krill and Sam sneak off to Blood Fest. After having a disappointing meeting with his hero from the Arbor Day, I guess a slasher movie series, they head to the opening ceremonies. Here the producer of the festival announces that they are about to make horror scary again. The entire grounds have been locked off and the horrors within real. The people attending need to follow the rules or they will die! The bodies start to drop immediately as the knife wielding maniac and some pig masked chainsaw dudes begin cutting into the audience. Dax, his friends, and some others lock themselves into a storage room. Quickly they figure out that they have to run the gauntlet of various movie themed attractions to get to the back gate and escape. Good times ensue.

The cast is decent

Normally when a movie tries to pay homage or reference other well-known genre flicks it is a miserable failure. But somehow Blood Fest pulls it off and not just one homage but many. The various set pieces that the characters have to survive include a cemetery full of zombies, a high school with a killer stalking them, a Saw style trap complete with a creepy ass doll in a wheelchair, vampires, rage monsters (think 28 Days later), and my personal favorite, creepy ass clowns. All of these are done very well and explained in a logical way that as a viewer I was able to buy into. The zombies are controlled with electrodes, the human killers are crazies that he found and programmed by making them watch a certain movie again and again until they became that killer. The vampires are ladies brought over from Eastern Europe and infected with a disease that makes them crave blood. They aren’t actually vampires just what he could manufacture. The clowns… he got them off Craigslist. God, I loved that line. I liked the fact that the writer/director tried to keep things as realistic as possible while injecting some humor. It made for an entertaining flick.

It isn’t just the setups that refer to other movies or genre staples. Filmmakers like James Wan and Danny Boyle as well as movies like Black Christmas are referenced in the dialogue. As someone who has been to many conventions and hangs out with other horror nerds this was a nice touch. The conversations that these characters were having sounded very familiar and that only made me enjoy the movie more. The best part is when Dax prays to George Romero when he is trying to disable the device controlling the zombies. Damn it man that is how you acknowledge the master! The writing is good enough that none of this feels forced as it seems natural that these characters would have these sorts of references in their vocabulary.

I do love the clowns

The gore is a mix of CGI and practical effects. Some of the practical work is a bit rough, but it was nice to see a low budget movie make the effort. Especially one that is going out of its way to remind the audience of the flicks that inspired it. Speaking of that there is a bit where the zombies break in and attack the clowns. Watch closely as one of the clowns cackles when being ripped apart because that is reminiscent of a kill in Day of the Dead. Not obvious but I noticed. Now that is how you reference a classic! The CGI work never has that terribly cringeworthy moment and is used to enhance things and not carry the effect. The filmmakers also make an effort to not linger on these effects giving the audience time to pick them apart. The design of the zombies, vampires, creepy nun, hillbilly killers, and clowns are all nicely done. We don’t get to see some of them on screen for long, but they do make an impression. This takes time and effort and I applaud the filmmakers and makeup crew for their hard work.

Lots of kills, good dialogue, neat killers, and a clever plot all add up to what I think is a good movie. Imagine my surprise when I saw the bad ratings and people complaining about it. I guess it wasn’t violent or gory enough for some people. This isn’t that kind of movie and if you went in expecting that then of course you are going to be disappointed. I consider this more along the lines of a Return of the Living Dead 2 or Freaks of Nature. A good movie with some comedy elements and some genuine horror mixed in. Hell, I haven’t even mentioned the big twist at the end, which I rather enjoyed. This is a movie that is totally worth your time. I recommend it and will happily argue with anyone that disagrees with me. Give this one your time and money. Support independent horror.

© Copyright 2020 John Shatzer

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

I’m a sucker for a monster movie so when I saw a movie titled Big Ass Spider hit the shelves of my local Wally World I was down. The movie kicks off with us meeting an exterminator named Alex. When we first meet him, we find him dragging a rat out from under a lady’s house. During this he gets bitten by a spider and ends up in the emergency room. Being short of cash he takes the opportunity to trade some of his services for his hospital bill. A body came in with a spider living inside it, which has now gotten loose. With the help of a hospital security guard, Jose, he goes off looking for the creepy crawler in the basement.

While all of that is happening, we also watch as the military shows up and takes over the facility. See this isn’t just any old spider, but one that was infused with some Alien DNA turning it into a bioweapon experiment. Now the thing is loose, killing, eating, and growing. If that isn’t bad enough the damn thing is about to spawn some baby spiders, who will eventually be just as large and dangerous as their mama. It is up to Alex and Jose to save the day and the girl. I should mention that along the way Alex meets Lt. Karly who became his love interest and was grabbed by the spider as a snack for its babies. Dating can be really complicated in this modern world of ours with the bioengineered menaces from outer space.

I picked this DVD up years ago when it first came out and have revisited this movie every couple years since then. I loved the cheesy story and characters as well as the goofy looking CGI special effects. The story is your typical monster run amok flick, here with it being a military experiment gone wrong (another typical trope) leading to a healthy body count as the civilians get knocked off rapidly as the creature grows. I think we have all seen this story before, but they execute it so well that while familiar it still comes off as entertaining. What helps with this is the healthy about of humor in the script and that the actors portraying the characters have some charisma and timing. Big Ass Spider! feels like a movie made by people who not only understood what they were doing but also have an appreciation for the genre that they are gently poking fun at.

The cast features a good performance from Greg Grunberg as Alex. Lin Shaye and Ray Wise have small supporting roles and are a lot of fun. Though I’d have to say that Lombardo Boyar as Jose steals every scene that he is in. He gets most of the best lines and kills it at every opportunity. The movie is directed by Mike Mendez (Gravedancers, Don’t Kill It) who is one of my favorite independent filmmakers working today. He gets what fans enjoy and want, normally delivering the goods.

Now about the special effects. I get that I normally rail against digital work, but this is a giant monster movie, so my rules are different. I grew up watching live insects crawl across photographic plates and/or puppets menace miniatures standing in for buildings and vehicles. So, a silly looking CGI spider isn’t going to bother me. It is quite the opposite as these sorts of effects feel like the successor to the low budget tricks they used in the fifties and sixties to bring this kind of movie to the big screen.

There isn’t much else that needs to be said about the movie. I can think of much worse ways to kill ninety or so minutes than watching Big Ass Spider! and recommend it and I think you will have some fun watching the arachnid mayhem.

© Copyright 2020 John Shatzer

Bats (1999)

This is one that I remember seeing during its original theatrical run. In fact, I distinctly remember seeing the trailer and thinking to myself ‘a Lou Diamond Phillips versus killer bats movie. I’m in.’ I loved it back then, but what will a much older me think about it? Might as well pop in the DVD and check it out.

Things start off quickly with a couple hanging out under a bridge doing what young folks do in the dark. A train passes overhead and that stirs up the “neighbors” which by the title you should realize are some killer bats. The action then moves to our resident bat expert, the beautiful Dr. Casper, who is played by Dina Meyer. She is called in by the government to investigate the attack. We find out pretty quickly that they (the government) have been tracking the attacks but that this is the first time the creatures went after people. The local sheriff, played by Lou Diamond Phillips, gets involved and before you know it the town is under siege. The army is called in, some mad scientist stuff happens, and the day is saved. Pretty much in that exact order.

This is a by the numbers monster movie that wastes no time getting to the creatures and doesn’t linger too much on the human characters. It reminds me a lot of the old fifties Sci-Fi movies that I review here at the site. I enjoy those flicks and I enjoyed this one. The plot is very simple and again gets right to the action. The cast is likeable with Phillips and Meyer in the lead roles. Leon does a fine job as some comic relief as he really has all the best lines. Bob Gunton, who most of us probably recognize as the Warden from Shawshank Redemption, makes a wonderful mad scientist. Because of the thin plot a movie like this needs to lean heavily on the cast to sell it and make the audience care about the characters (good or bad) and they do a fine job here.

The puppets look awesome

Of course, if we are going to be honest the real stars of a movie like this are the creatures, here a couple large genetically modified bats that are leading the local bat population and infecting them somehow with their aggressiveness. The swarms are brought to the screen with some admittedly cringeworthy digital effects work. This is bad even by the standards of the late nineties. Where the special effects work shines are when we get the puppet bats interacting with the actors. These look pretty good and their attacks are staged and shot cleverly. No matter how good the effects work is you need a director that can shoot it properly and we get that here. I also didn’t realize until watching the credits that he practical effects work was down by KNB, which goes a long way towards explaining the quality of the work.

Decent story, likeable cast, and good practical effects work are more than enough to make up for any flaws that Bats might have. I keep finding these nineties horror movies that I totally forgot about. I’m going to need to reconsider my opinion that the decade was horrible for genre flicks. I can easily recommend this one for anyone looking for their monster movie fix.

© Copyright 2020 John Shatzer

As Above, So Below (2014)

This is a movie that was recommended to me repeatedly and I kept avoiding it. I thought it looked like another of those found footage movies that was nothing but a series of jump scares where everyone dies at the end. I finally relented and checked it out last night. I have to say I was very surprised at what I got.

Scarlett is an urban archaeologist who is following in her father’s footsteps as she too searches for the Philosopher’s stone that had eluded him. The movie opens with her racing against an Iranian demolition team to find a clue before they bring down a cave system. This establishes her as a risk taker as well as someone who is a bit obsessed and might use questionable judgement.

The rest of the movie is set in the catacombs under Paris. The clues she found in Iran have led her to the vast tunnels filled with the former inhabitants of the city. Somewhere beneath the city is the stone, which itself is the key to unlocking all sorts of alchemical powers. Soon she has recruited a guide, an old friend, and a cameraman to join her in the dangerous labyrinth of passages. As they go deeper and deeper looking for the stone it becomes clear they are in trouble. They experience all sorts of spooky and weird stuff such as mysterious chanting, figures skulking around following them and a damn telephone that appears out of nowhere. Something is definitely not right.

This is not at all the movie that I was expecting. First up it has a real Indiana Jones vibe to it as Scarlett and her friend George have to figure out puzzles to unlock hidden doors and translate long dead languages like Aramaic to sort out riddles. That last bit is very important to the ending of the movie where I think that Scarlett realizes something which turns out to be key in them possibly escaping the underground hell they find themselves in. That also brings me to another cool twist. Please be aware that SPOILERS are coming.

Creepy stuff going down!

At some point it seems that the movie is hinting that they are actually in Hell! That wasn’t terribly interesting to me, especially since they seem to be hitting the audience over the head with that idea. But then the story suddenly changes up into some sort of test that when Scarlett solves it they are allowed to leave. This is tied into the Philosopher’s stone, which I think is not so much a physical object as it is a power gained thru enlightenment maybe. I’m honestly not sure but found myself fascinated by the resolution of the story and what it hints at. I also think it is brilliant that the filmmakers take you most of the way to the resolution but leave enough of it vague that you have to fill in the blanks yourself.

Even more creepy stuff!

Please understand that if you were hoping for creepy atmosphere, shaky camera, and jump scares typical of the found footage genre you won’t be disappointed with As Above So Below. It has all the things that one can expect from a movie in this subgenre of horror. What makes this one so cool is the great story which you hardly ever see in found footage flicks. We even get a few on camera bits of violence and gore with at least one head being smashed on camera! The locations of the underground catacombs and the cramped tunnels give the entire movie a claustrophobic feeling that also goes a long way to setting the atmosphere and giving the audience an emotional gut punch on more than a couple occasions. Seriously this movie has it all.

I can’t think of a bad thing to say about this one. With that in mind I’m going to enthusiastically recommend As Above So Below. I promise you that you haven’t seen anything quite like this one.

© Copyright 2020 John Shatzer