So, the friends head out to explore the cave. When one of them is peeing he finds a weird blue rock and decides to take it with him. In addition to being a psychic cave explorer it seems that Thelma is also a geologist and loves rocks. But this isn’t any rock, no it is in fact an alien rock. It eventually hatches and attaches itself to one of Thelma’s friends. I think that the biology here is that the rock sprouts a critter that infects a person whose face eventually explodes out into an alien slime creature. How did the rocks get everywhere so quickly? What does the space mission mentioned earlier have to do with it? I have no clue as this movie makes not one lick of sense.
Let me establish right away that I have a fondness for these late seventies and early eighties Italian flicks. The bad dubbing, confusing story, as well as their incessant need to “borrow” whatever was popular that week puts a smile on my face. I mention this because while Alien 2 is an absolute mess of a movie I kind of liked it. From the silly attempts at acting “American” to the weird performances that are partly due to the dubbing and partly due to the cast I found the movie to be entertaining. Though I’ll admit it does drag a bit in the beginning, things do pick up once they hit the cave.
This movie is never boring, always has some weird shit happening (intentional or otherwise) and kept my attention from start to finish. Remember the whole psychic thing? Well that allows for Thelma to sense the rocks and is used as an excuse for her not being a hatchery for little aliens slime monsters. Why? Let me remind you again that the plot makes no sense, but they explode a little girls face off so in my mind that makes up for it. I enjoyed Alien 2: On Earth and if you are of the same mindset as me when it comes to these kinds of movies then you may too. With that qualified recommendation I’m off to watch some more crappy flicks.
© Copyright 2021 John Shatzer