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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Street Team Massacre (2007)

I don’t trust energy drinks. When I heard of a movie that had them as the cause of a crazies/zombie outbreak I knew I had to watch it. The action starts with some scientists getting customer feedback on their latest product. The test subject seems to enjoy the mango goodness of his beverage, but then gets a little violent. Basically, he murders everyone in sight. Years later we are introduced to the street team of Eco-Elixir. The crew heads out only to be one upped by their bitter rivals, Jock Juice. Defeated they head back to headquarters to find out that management is ready to pull the plug on the company. They only have one more chance.

Finding a Jamboree to attend the Eco-Elixir crew loads up the van and heads out. But there is a mole on their crew, someone who is feeding all their secrets to the Jock Juice creeps. In an effort to sabotage the event the Eco-Elixir is swapped out with some expired product. A familiar mango flavored product. Yep the hippie dippy Jamboree attendees are about to go crazy/zombie on everyone! Good times ensue.

I watch a lot of low budget horror movies. This doesn’t even reach that level of low budget. They only spent fifteen hundred dollars on Street Team Massacre and still managed to make it fun. The story is goofy and there isn’t much in the way of production values. I was expecting that, so it didn’t bother me too much. What I never saw coming was how well written the script is. I’ve said again and again when reviewing low budget movies that you have no control over most things without money, but you can make sure that you have a story you can afford to shoot and a decent script. They have both.

The story is simple and requires just a couple locations. The big finale takes place at Sloppy Poppy’s grand pappy’s “rape” farm, which is a collection of old buildings in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know if they wrote the script with the location in mind or if they just got lucky. But it fits and gave them everything they needed. Moving onto the script the dialogue in Street Team Massacre is excellent. The characters have some funny lines, especially Sloppy Poppy, and the cast of unknowns do a great job with the timing. Comedy isn’t easy, and they nail it. You get the requisite cameo from Lloyd Kauffman, who is actually sort of great here. There is also a random Roddy Piper appearance that was cool.

The gore is very basic. I suppose some viewers might be disappointed with it, but they had no money. Personally, I think that the tricks that they used were fine. There is some basic gut munching, a dude loses his eyes, and some people are shot. All of it simple and cheesy as hell. Instead of applying complicated makeup to the zombies/crazies they just glue a unibrow on them. I have different standards for a flick like Street Team Massacre and was satisfied with what they put on the screen. Be warned if you aren’t a fan of low or micro budget movies then Street Team Massacre isn’t for you. I watch a lot of these and this is one of the better you will find. I highly recommend it. The link at the top of this review will take you to YouTube where you can watch the movie. What are you waiting for?

© Copyright 2018 John Shatzer

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