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I thought I'd kick the new year off with another movie marathon. I thought it was time to check out a few old school mystery flicks. Som...

Monday, August 10, 2020

House Shark (2016)

You might be asking yourself, “Did I just read that title correctly?”. Well you did. The next logical thought is that it must be about a slick relator that corners the market and makes a lot of money, but you would be wrong about that. Nope this is about a shark that lives in a house and kills anyone that dares step foot in it.

We meet Frank, who is about to reenter the dating scene after being divorced. He has his young son with him and after some chatting they go downstairs, and we meet the babysitter. This is important because later on when she is on the toilette the house shark gets her. Frank sees this happen and is traumatized by it. Two months later he and his son are living in the backyard, afraid to go into the house. But events occur that force Frank to team up with a couple of house shark experts to go back in and do battle with the beast. What are those events? Well an odd reality company wants to sell the house and shows it without his permission. This leads to a couple being eaten in the living room. This is a weird movie…

House Shark has the feel of a movie that threw a ton of jokes at the wall to see how much would stick. We get the typical Jaws references including a spoof of the famous Quint monologue that is actually pretty good. The actor playing Abraham does his best impression of the character while explaining the horrors of the House Shark attack at the parade of homes, which is standing in for the Indianapolis sinking. What didn’t seem to fit was his strange beard. That is until you understand one of the other gags. Let me sort it out for you. We have characters named Frank, Abraham, Zachary, and Franklin’s wife is named Lady Bird. Get it yet? All of them are named after presidents or first ladies. The Abraham/Quint character is sporting a very fake beard, which they even reference at the end of the movie. I was sort of amused by this and it was another of those jokes that feels tossed in.

If you are easily grossed out, you might have issues with House Shark. Not because it is gory, but because it uses what my mother used to call “potty humor”. We see butts, both real and rubber. Another of the characters gets peed on while thanking the Fuhrer… Weird shit is happening here. There is an ugly cry complete with snot running down a character’s face. Talk of period farts and lots more like gross out humor like that. Though my favorite joke refers back to Jaws when a little girl runs up to Franklin and kicks him in the nuts for not stopping her adoptive parents from being eaten in the living room. That part isn’t so funny, but her being mad about having to return to the high kill adoption center had me laughing.

My only complaint about the movie is that it runs too long. Some of the jokes just don’t work and could have and would have been cut by a decent editor. House Shark is one hundred and eleven minutes, which is crazy for an independent movie like this. Better to be shorter by twenty minutes and focus on the jokes that land.

This is one of the flicks that has to be seen to be believed. It is so strange and goofy that I can only begin to scratch the surface here in the review. Do I recommend this one? If you are in the mood for a few laughs and not wanting to take it seriously I think House Shark is the movie for you.

Ó Copyright 2020 John Shatzer

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