A Polonia
brother’s Bigfoot movie? I love these guys (really just one guy since John Polonia
passed away), but their stuff is a mixed bag. Some of it works and some of it
doesn’t. But how hard can it be to mess up a Bigfoot movie? Well actually it is
pretty easy.
Things
start with some mayhem as a dude is running away from something. We know he is
a science dude since he is wearing a lab coat. What was chasing him catches up
and Bigfoot arms rip his guts out! That is a pretty good way to start the
movie. Then we get some absolutely beautiful shots of mountains. This is to
establish that the setting for the movie. Probably the biggest mistake the
flick makes. More on that later.
There is a
team of scientists sent into see what happened when the facility, which we are led
to believe was where the science dude was running earlier. They are told that a
Yeti was found and that they should find out what happened to both it and the
samples taken from it. So off they go trekking thru the mountains to the
Community college… Um I mean the secret science base. There they find the
Yeti/Sasquatch/Bigfoot what every they are choosing to call it. It has killed
everyone and is still hanging around pissed off! Oh, and in spite of being huge
it is just an adolescent! See where this is going?
This is
the definition of low budget movie. Not surprising because that is what the
Polonia brothers always specialized in. That comes with problems as well as
benefits. On the good side there is a goofy charm in how the movie is shot. They
take advantage of their outdoor locations and do their damnedest to make sure
they get the most out of what they have. The facility where the scientists were
conducting their experiments is clearly some sort of community college or high
school. But that doesn’t stop them from using aluminum foil to cover up things
they don’t want you to see on the walls or keep the glass that breaks out of
frame in one solid piece because they clearly couldn’t afford to break it! This
sort of no budget creativity makes me smile and only adds to the charm of a
movie like Frozen Sasquatch.
I also
think the creature looks great. It is just a guy in what appears to be a
slightly modified store-bought gorilla costume. If you have no money and are
making a Bigfoot movie then by God that is exactly what you should do. And if
you have to do this then double down and give it a shit ton of screen time,
like director Mark Polonia does here. Hell, they don’t stop there but also make
the Sasquatch a damn alien and insert a CGI spaceship into a scene. The fact
that they used a data closet from the college for the only interior of the ship
was also awesome. Did you guys know that Aliens use Cisco routers? I didn’t!
The only
thing that bugged me was the constant use of fake CGI snow to let you know they
are in the mountains. Not only does it not accumulate, but the grass and shrubs
are green, and the cast keeps running around in short sleeve shirts. Not much
you can do about making a Sasquatch flick without a budget, but you could have
just set this one in the woods.
Overall, I
rather liked Frozen Sasquatch. It is the kind of movie you watch once and
forget, but it did entertain me for the ninety or so minutes I had it on. Not
everything has to be art and some movies can just be fun. This one was fun. If
you dig low budget movies then I say check this one out.
© Copyright 2019 John Shatzer
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