See it wasn’t actually an asteroid that crashed in the woods. It was a biological warfare experiment and is now getting out of hand. The Blob is basically an eating machine consuming anything living, including the locals, and growing bigger after each meal. At first no one believes Meg, including Brian, but soon enough it is impossible to ignore. How do you stop a monster like this? Well, I’m not going to ruin it for you. But then I would expect that you have either seen this or the original, so you probably already know.
This is how you do a proper remake. You take inspiration from the original and respect it but don’t do a shot for shot clone like the Psycho remake. Nor do you ignore what made the original such a good flick and wreck it like Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake. Instead, you remind folks of what was cool and then lean into what you can do that it couldn’t. Here we get to see familiar takes on the diner, the theater, and the old guy kicking things off with some foolish poking it with a stick action. There was something familiar about this that put a smile on my face.
the pacing is solid with not a slow moment in the ninety or so minute runtime.
They establish what is happening with a bit of humor. Meg’s dad being the
pharmacist was a goofy but cool laugh before the horror starts. But once they
get to the creature it is one kill after the other with just enough plot
development to make you care about the soon to be blob victims. Not only is
this a remake done right but this is a perfectly executed creature feature. The
cast is great including Kevin Dillon as Brian. He has the most luxurious of
mullets. A pre Saw Shawnee Smith is Meg and does a good job in the role. Young
actor Michael Kenworthy is the little brother and plays basically the same role
in another movie also made in eighty eight, Return of the Living Dead II.
The magnificent '80s mullet
But here is where they up the ante with The Blob remake. We get a ton of cool creature effects and some nasty kills. The blob oozes around the town eating anyone it finds in some gruesome ways. People get melted on screen with their bones exposed and flesh dripping off. Someone gets yanked down a sink drain headfirst, an annoying theater goer is yanked by the face up to the ceiling, there are collapsing boobs, and a meat sack sheriff too. Though my favorite kill has to be the bent backwards deputy. That one has always stuck with me.
also dug that they doubled down on switching it up and surprising the audience
with some of the plot choices. First up they killed off the character that
looked to be the love interest in the most horrific of ways. Yeah, he has an
arm off! Hell, they even kill a damn kid including his half empty skull popping
up out at the audience. These are very eighties things that were available to
the filmmakers and almost expected from that gooiest of decades that simply
couldn’t have happened in the fifties.
The effects and kills are a blast!
I loved this movie when I first rented it back in the day and while there are a couple greenscreen shots that don’t hold up the practical effects work and kills are top notch. The cast is fun, and the story perfectly executed. I highly recommend everyone give this one a watch.
© Copyright 2022 John Shatzer
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